TLV: Inbox

[tinstar]

Comments

[tinstar]

I don't know, Malcolm. Anything. Everything. Neither of us have any real idea of how this works. You can't provide me any real assurances; you've been.. for a handful of days.

[abrightboy]

This isn't going to make some kind of extra trouble for me or you. When I asked about staying with you it was about feeling unsteady and wanting the emotional support, not some sort of physical protection, hiding behind you.

[tinstar]

Yes, Malcolm, I'm aware of that, and my granting it was for the same reason but that doesn't mean that I can ignore the possibilities.

[abrightboy]

I just don't get why they're more possible now.

[tinstar]

Because you throw in a dash of 'He's supernatural' and folks start getting real strained about what mistakes can be made. This might be a space ship but it's still got some of the small town mentality. Islander syndrome.

I'm not saying it's gonna happen, I'm just sayin' it could.

[abrightboy]

Is that why you didn't want me to do it?

[tinstar]

One of the reasons. The other bein' that you shouldn't change yourself on a fundamental level for connection. It suggests that you aren't good enough as you are doin' your best and I don't like that.

If you were weak or incapable, I could maybe understand it a little better, but you're neither of those things.

[abrightboy]

It's not just the connection. I'm broken and I've been broken for so long I don't know what it's like to be whole. I went to a new school for my last year of high school. A prestigious boarding school. It was the first time I went by Bright. I wanted to have one normal year, where people didn't know who I was so I could just... be me. But I am this.... wet paper bag of broken pieces. I want to try something else. I want to see what it's like to be something else.

[tinstar]

[Raylan just looks at him for a moment, face full of sympathy and his own kind of understanding. He could understand wanting to see what it's like to be something else. Maybe he just put a larger value on the loss than Malcolm did. Raylan would be scared of what he would become, Malcolm is excited and hopeful about it. But Malcolm wasn't capable of the same cold murder that Raylan had long been used to.]

I hope it's everthin' you ever wanted. [He doubted it would be, but the sentiment was nice enough and he meant it.]

[abrightboy]

Thank you. I don’t really know what it will be, but… I don’t want it to be something that makes my family hate me.

[tinstar]

[He didn't want it to be something that makes his family hate him, but that didn't touch the fact that he'd done it basically behind their backs.]

'Hate' would be a real extreme reaction. Only person I hate is Arlo. And Hitler, but I think that's a given across acceptable society.

Whatever it is, you're not alone. [And he's sure they could figure out a way to undo this if they needed to.]

[abrightboy]

But you’re still angry about something. Just… not only angry anymore.

[tinstar]

I don't think you're a wet sack of broken man but what I think doesn't matter, Malcolm. You're the one feelin' it.

And I'm a little tired of everyone assumin' the worst of what I mean when I open my mouth on the damned network, but that doesn't have anythin' to do with you.

[abrightboy]

[Malcolm watches him with big, vulnerable eyes.]

I always feel reassured when you pop up on the network.

[tinstar]

[Raylan watches him back and considers asking for more scotch. Asking for validation wasn't something he really did, but he found the question falling out of his mouth before he could stop it.]

Why's that?

[abrightboy]

Because I know you’re still here and plus I always enjoy your matter of fact truths.

[tinstar]

[He studies Malcolm face for a long moment. He wanted to believe that he was speaking those, those matter of fact truths.]

I'm not leavin' til my job here is done. And at least someone enjoys 'em. They start a fight with someone, more often than not.

I'm sorry I came in strong at the start. It's easier to question you than sit around considerin' if I'm going to get good reason to shoot your inmate.

[abrightboy]

Can I ask a question? …Maybe a series of questions. What happened in your session with Lestat that you’re taking music lessons now?

[tinstar]

[He shrugs one lean shoulder.]

I didn't think he'd say yes. And it was a left turn in conversation. I haven't had any yet. How'd you hear about it?

[abrightboy]

He told me about it. Was Reid butting in all the time to ask why you were asking questions and stuff?

[tinstar]

I stayed on polite topics. God, Wine, Classism. So no, not really. I figured hard questions could come later, when Lestat was less.. poised and ready.

[abrightboy]

I didn’t ask hard questions.

[tinstar]

What did you ask?

[abrightboy]

I asked about French literature and about how he became a vampire and where he’s lived and whether he thought this program was working.

[tinstar]

And when did Reid start interjectin'? What was he sayin'?