Because you throw in a dash of 'He's supernatural' and folks start getting real strained about what mistakes can be made. This might be a space ship but it's still got some of the small town mentality. Islander syndrome.
I'm not saying it's gonna happen, I'm just sayin' it could.
One of the reasons. The other bein' that you shouldn't change yourself on a fundamental level for connection. It suggests that you aren't good enough as you are doin' your best and I don't like that.
If you were weak or incapable, I could maybe understand it a little better, but you're neither of those things.
It's not just the connection. I'm broken and I've been broken for so long I don't know what it's like to be whole. I went to a new school for my last year of high school. A prestigious boarding school. It was the first time I went by Bright. I wanted to have one normal year, where people didn't know who I was so I could just... be me. But I am this.... wet paper bag of broken pieces. I want to try something else. I want to see what it's like to be something else.
[Raylan just looks at him for a moment, face full of sympathy and his own kind of understanding. He could understand wanting to see what it's like to be something else. Maybe he just put a larger value on the loss than Malcolm did. Raylan would be scared of what he would become, Malcolm is excited and hopeful about it. But Malcolm wasn't capable of the same cold murder that Raylan had long been used to.]
I hope it's everthin' you ever wanted. [He doubted it would be, but the sentiment was nice enough and he meant it.]
I don't think you're a wet sack of broken man but what I think doesn't matter, Malcolm. You're the one feelin' it.
And I'm a little tired of everyone assumin' the worst of what I mean when I open my mouth on the damned network, but that doesn't have anythin' to do with you.
[Raylan watches him back and considers asking for more scotch. Asking for validation wasn't something he really did, but he found the question falling out of his mouth before he could stop it.]
He thought it was personal, asking about the becoming a vampire. Which, fine, Lestat is capable of saying he doesn’t want to talk about something. I thought the point of the exercise was to get to know each other on a personal level, though. I invited him to ask me things, too, in that spirit. And he didn’t like me asking if the meetings were working. I said we all know why we’re here and I’m asking, not trying to read him, so what’s wrong with assessing how it’s going? Lestat didn’t ask anything about me. Reid tried to roll that ball a little, asking where I was from. He did not seem to like it, though, when I pointed out how he was clearly actually there to protect Lestat rather than me. Since, you know. He sold chaperoning the meetings as a way for us - Lestat’s victims - to feel safe having them.
He did, and I agree, his is there to protect Lestat. [From them, from anyone who might want to dance and give Lestat a reason to strike out.] But he is also there to protect us in case we strike upon a nerve that gets a sharp reaction.
I think they both find some protection in the politeness of civility. They might not have much practice in managing fighting energy. Which feels wrong, but I'm not above putting it on the board anyway.
I'll be waiting to see if anything follows through. Got ten bucks that one round is all they're really doing. I'd prefer to be proven wrong.
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I'm not saying it's gonna happen, I'm just sayin' it could.
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If you were weak or incapable, I could maybe understand it a little better, but you're neither of those things.
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I hope it's everthin' you ever wanted. [He doubted it would be, but the sentiment was nice enough and he meant it.]
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'Hate' would be a real extreme reaction. Only person I hate is Arlo. And Hitler, but I think that's a given across acceptable society.
Whatever it is, you're not alone. [And he's sure they could figure out a way to undo this if they needed to.]
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And I'm a little tired of everyone assumin' the worst of what I mean when I open my mouth on the damned network, but that doesn't have anythin' to do with you.
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I always feel reassured when you pop up on the network.
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Why's that?
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I'm not leavin' til my job here is done. And at least someone enjoys 'em. They start a fight with someone, more often than not.
I'm sorry I came in strong at the start. It's easier to question you than sit around considerin' if I'm going to get good reason to shoot your inmate.
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I didn't think he'd say yes. And it was a left turn in conversation. I haven't had any yet. How'd you hear about it?
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I think they both find some protection in the politeness of civility. They might not have much practice in managing fighting energy. Which feels wrong, but I'm not above putting it on the board anyway.
I'll be waiting to see if anything follows through. Got ten bucks that one round is all they're really doing. I'd prefer to be proven wrong.
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