tinstar | Malcolm x Raylan: Cowboy Surprise

Malcolm x Raylan: Cowboy Surprise

Art was suspicious right off the bat when Raylan took a week off with the express note that his phone would be Out Of Order til the next Monday, but the Chief Marshal wasn't going to look gift horses in the mouth. Not when it suggested he'd have a few days of peace, until Raylan caved to turning his phone back on again. Still, he watched the younger Marshal walk out of the office and promised himself to check into the state of Harlan within 3 days to make sure that the place wasn't on fire. The smoke would reach him before he called, he was sure.

But Art didn't have much to worry about - Raylan had no plans on staying in the state for his vacation, beyond one day spent closing up Arlo's and securing it the best way he could before getting on a plane to New York City. He wanted to surprise Malcolm - it'd been near two months since they'd last seen each other and frankly, Raylan was tired of missing him. They'd called and texted, stayed in a fairly consistent, if odd houred, touch but it wasn't the same.

Once he landed, Raylan rented a car and navigated his way towards Malcolm's apartment, stopping to grab a bouquet of flowers. It was.. Extra, but Raylan didn't want to show up empty handed, just in case. Thirty minutes later, Malcolm's door buzzer was being hit, like Raylan was here to deliver something. Well, he was, but that was half the fun.

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Raylan could only grin. Forever was the best start and every interaction made him believe more that Malcolm really was in this for the long haul. That this marriage wouldn't end like his last one. In heartache and ruin.

The question was something of a blindside and Raylan blinked behind a slight frown as he tried processed where that came from. He'd absolutely made a conscious choice to pursue this relationship and everything that came with it, dedication included.

"You mean will I miss goin' to bed with them?"

"Among... everything else that you appreciated about them. I know you want this. I know you do," he clarified. "I'm not worried about that. I just... wondered if you thought about... never touching one again."

"Choosing to not go to bed with any woman again in my life is no different than choosing to only sleep with one for the rest of my life. This is the same thing. I miss the car I drove when I was 30 but I don't cheat on my towncar with it."

Had he thought about it? No. But the choice was simple to him. He traded sex with women and a lonely like for great sex with Malcolm and happiness that he hadn't been sure was possible.

"I don't think that marriage can be that different between.. people like this, right?" He'd stalled a little there, unsure where to place them. Where to place himself.

He smiled. "No, I don't think that it is," he agreed. He studied Raylan's face for a moment. "You're happy with... our physical relationship, though, right? It's okay?"

It was blowing Malcolm's mind on a regular basis, but he credited Raylan for that. Was he getting as much out of it? Malcolm hadn't been sure how to know.

Raylan's face didn't change much. He was too used to there being a trap or a hidden fight hidden in these questions to take them on their face. Had he been doing something wrong?

"'Course it is. Sex with you is...." He struggled to even quantify it. "Amazing. Hell, the fact that you even let me is amazing. I don't know how you do it. Women either. It's not somethin' I really think about." A surprise to no one.

"Am I.." Was he disappointing?

No fights or hidden traps or even judgement. Just curiosity and a brain that thinks too much.

'Let' him struck Malcolm as an odd turn of phrase to describe consent. It felt more mutual to him than one person 'letting' another person touch them, but as he rolled it around in his mind, it made sense with what he knew. Even going all the way back when he likely witnessed Arlo helping himself to Raylan's mother whether she felt inclined to 'let' him or not. Abusive assholes ruined their children in a lot of ways. It was some kind of miracle or some kind of testament to who Raylan was in his soul that he emerged more respectful of his partners than most people and not less, like his father was. The children of abusers often became abusers; Raylan had broken the cycle.

"I'm glad," he said with a smile, leaning into him a bit more. "I didn't really know what you were... expecting it to be like, I guess. I just... I knew you enjoyed it in the moment; I wanted to know what you thought of it after the hit of dopamine wore off, as it were..." he explained at a ramble, until he realized Raylan had started asking a question. He looked up, all open curiosity. "Sorry, are you what?"

There was power in sex. It was given, it was taken, it was allowed or stolen. Raylan hadn't ever really thought about it in any different way and since that included its own form of mutual consent, it worked well with the way things worked out here.

"I didn't know what it'd be like," Raylan admitted, ignoring the question for now. "Dirtier, maybe. There's some kinda difference in my head - without.. penetration, it reads as mutual masturbation. So I got eased into it. You made it easy." Malcolm had made it safe, somehow, to even dare to cross that line.

He smiled with the end, deciding it was better to not ask. He might not like the answer he got.

Malcolm reached up, brushing the backs of his fingers along Raylan's cheek.

"You told me what you needed. All I had to do was listen to you," he pointed out. "Which has worked out well for me. I didn't know sex could be this good. I thought... it's nice enough, but I don't know what all the fuss is about." He raised his eyebrows and nodded. "I know what the fuss is about now," he admitted with a self-conscious laugh. He searched Raylan's face for a moment. "But what were you going to say?" he asked.

Raylan's smile spread a little at the brush of his cheek, hazel eyes coming up to watch Malcolm as he talked. Oh, sex was mostly worth all the fuss. He couldn't help but grin at Malcolm's assertion.

The followup made the grin falter back down into something of a self conscious little smile of his own. "You've got more experience in this than I do. Am I holdin' up to expectations?"

With a bit of cheek, he could get through anything. It helped that Malcolm had basically already just answered his question.

Malcolm laughed, but not unkindly. "No, not at all," he said. He looked up at his face. "Blown them out of the water, more like. Left them in the dust. Way, way exceeded expectations," he assured, giving him a kiss. "I might have to become a monk if you leave me. I can't go back to a lower standard than that."

His eyebrows had started to lift but it all broke into a grin again as Malcolm reassured him and sealed it with a kiss that Raylan leaned up into. "Go big or go home, right?"

He felt better about it. "Where'd all this come from?" He wasn't angry or judging either. He just didn't understand where the question stemmed from, especially considering he'd just officially purposed.

He winced slightly. "Well, deep in the recesses of my sleep deprived and chemically imbalanced mind - where I am also extremely excited about marrying you, just like the rest of me is - I suddenly thought... what if in, like, three or four years, you suddenly think 'you know what I miss? Women,' and I thought I should just... see if that was something you'd considered." It sounded kind of ridiculous now, but at that moment, it had seemed like an important question to ask. He looked at Raylan. "And then, since we were talking about sex anyway, it seemed like a good time to check in on how that's going... I try to keep that part of my head dialled down, I swear."

Edited 2020-09-01 16:18 (UTC)

Raylan smiled, glancing down at their collective laps for a minute, thinking he definitely did not have enough scotch in his hand to tackle the conversation as he'd like.

"It's not," he assured with a look at Malcolm, mouth still curled in a soft smile. "You're sexy as hell and you turn me on and given the chance, I might fuck you for days. If I really feel the need to see some titties, shit." He said, face curling as he bobbed his head. "I'll go to a strip club. But goin' to bed with you is more than satisfying and I don't plan on goin' to get into anyone else's anytime soon.. Or in three or four years," he clarified with a pull of his smile.

"Nothin like that will ever move you from top spot, darlin'."

Malcolm's smiled tentatively as Raylan responded, but it grew wider as he continued, if a little self-conscious. This was a new thing, this whole situation. One he'd never thought he could have.

And he believed him. About all of it. He could see the truth of it in Raylan's face.

He leaned up to steal another kiss, lingering in it for a moment.

"Can we start really planning the wedding once we find the house?" he asked. "Or should we wait for a bit?"

Good because Raylan meant it. He hadn't fucked anyone over a desk with a desperate furious need in literally years. He couldn't remember a time since his early 30s, actually. And maybe a decade between that and the time before it.

Malcolm had nothing to worry about.

Raylan trailed after the kiss a fraction, smiling as he did so and Malcolm's question made him chuckle. "Really that excited huh?" He was glad to see it. "We can start as soon as we move into the house. Otherwise, we'll be exhausted in the first week. I'm afraid that I can't be much help but I'll do my best. Whatever you need me to do."

He was that excited. And maybe a little bit he wanted to grab it before it dissipated into the ether like a dream.

Malcolm looked at him quizzically. "What do you mean 'can't be much help'? In what sense?" He had just been listing things they would have just before he proposed. He seemed pretty involved already.

"Catering or choosing plates or napkins or centerpieces, seatin' people," he said, shaking his head. "Makin' it look good." Making it look up to the standard that he knew Malcolm was used to. The standard they'd need to make his mother happy.

And if Malcolm thought that making his mother happy wouldn't be part of it, Raylan's experience told him that he was wrong.

"They got people to hire to do that, right? Wedding planners?"

"They do have such a thing," Malcolm confirmed. "But we don't need a wedding planner. It's going to be a small wedding and I won't have a job. I can do it." He met Raylan's eyes. "With your input. We'll choose everything and I'll put it together."

He really wasn't worried whether it was up to his mother's standard. He was worried whether it would be something Raylan would like. It wasn't her day. It was theirs.

"And we can make a lot of those choices before we even get there, so if settling into a new office keeps you extra busy, I can just work on it with what we have."

"If you say it, it must be true," he said, happy to let Malcolm dictate what he wanted to. "Far be it from me to tell you what to do with your time. But if you do need help," he cautioned with a look from under his eyebrows at him. "We can find some."

Raylan shifted a little so he could lay Malcolm's weight back into the cushions of the couch and follow it with some of his own after scooting his hips out of the way, using the whole thing as an excuse to kiss Malcolm all over again.

"I'll be settlin' into an old office. Only thing you gotta worry about is the same stuff you gotta about now. Me and long hours."

"You being at work late is different than you being in another state, you know," Malcolm told him. "It's not that big a deal. You still exist in the space; you'll come back to it eventually." He looked at Raylan as he traced a pattern on his shoulder with two fingers. "I like to think if a case leaves you restless or upset you'll come home instead of going out if this feels like a safe place where you can talk about it. Or yell about it. Or kick something, if that's what you need to do." With barely a breath between thoughts, he added "Do you think we should go with tuxedos or morning suits? A lot of people do morning suits for weddings. They have more options; we can add some colour."

"Only if you don't ignore the distances," he replied with a playful sense that didn't survive long in the face of Malcolm's expression and the idle touch. Then he got two more ideas to tangle with, in rapid succession and he couldn't help but feel like they were dancing around something important to Malcolm.

"I don't even know what a morning suit is." First things first. "You okay with me going to bat sometimes instead?"

"Of course, if that's what helps." A beat. "....If you want company, though, you can text me. If you don't, though... I get that. That's okay too," he said matter-of-factly.

Raylan narrowed one eye a little. "You didn't ask me about women because you're missin' it, right? You didn't exactly expect this, didn't make a.." What'd he say? "A conscious decision to not be with them anymore either."

Malcolm laughed in surprise.

"Oh my god, no. I never... had a preference either way, you know."

He held out his hand. "Give me your phone."

He wasn't sure how to take that sudden laugh. Leaning back a little, Raylan fished his phone out of his pocket and handed it over, opting to wait and see what Malcolm was going to show him like it might change something.

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