Raylan lifted a hand, eyes shutting for a moment before reopening enough to be halfmoons.]
I apologize; The only thing that comes to mind is Argus, the 100 eyed Greek god, and I could not tell you what 'Avatar' means in this context.
So he's the all seeing god of.. fear, chaos, paranoia, the shit that followed the broadcast of War of the Worlds back in the late 1930's?
[Raylan only had half a foot in disbelief, but nothing Jon could say would change that until he met the proof in the pudding - he was only trying to find the common ground of understanding. This wasn't a 'nod and uh-huh' your way through kinda lecture.]/small>
Not… quite. That’s a little too human for what we’re taking about. As… loathe as I am to reference the man, given his inclinations, this is something closer to… Lovecraft, if you’re familiar. Horror and terror on a cosmic scale.
[ Pythia lifts her head. ]
Would it help to see it yourself? Or… feel it, I guess?
[ He looks down at the little snake with a wince before looking back up. ]
While I was, er, getting to that, that is an option.
Never got into that kinda horror. [The ready admittance came with a slight narrowing of his eyes.] But culturally, I'm aware of the general gist. Eldritch God that will rise up outta the sea to drive man insane.
[Raylan's head bobbed and weaved backwards a fraction at the suggestion, full of incredulous confusion - it's not his fault really, he is a painfully sheltered human in the big bad multiverse and somewhere down below, a reindeer huffed a breath at Raylan's previous protective persistence.]
[ His shoulders sink a little. This is not something he likes to talk about, which makes the amount of times he's had to talk about it somewhat depressing. ]
Less rise from the sea and-
Well, the less said about that part, the better.
[ A deep breath.j ]
An avatar, in this case, is someone who has... who has been partially transformed by their power into something more, and less, than human. A fully realized avatar is someone who has... who would have died had they not... leaned into that part.
Such as Elias... and myself.
[ The little snake head leans up and nuzzles his cheek. ]
[The squint persisted and several beats of silence passed.]
Alright. [He can handle facts, he can suspend his disbelief for the polite, for the reassurance that this was reality and he was going to have to take it.]
Its on trust that I'm not askin' what you leaned into; you're a warden and I have to put some trust into that position. So y'all are big bads. [Normally otherwise above his paygrade.]
What do you mean 'better to see or feel it', what's that option.
You can ask. I don't keep secrets here, for any number of reasons, starting with the fact that I'm a warden and I happen to believe that I owe people a certain amount of transparency as such.
[ He spreads a hand. ]
Elias offered me the position of Head Archivist of the Magnus Institute, a prestigious organization dedicated to the study and investigation of the paranormal. I was unaware at the time that this position came with... the transformation I mention.
They don't exactly wait for informed consent
[ He clears his throat and nods. ]
Quite. What I 'leaned into' was deciding to live out of fear for what might happen to those I cared for were I to remain dead, largely because Elias seemed content to use them as cannon fodder in his schemes. As such, I am currently... an Archivist. And what I mean is... I can show you a little of what that means, i-in a non-harmful sense, obviously.
["Hi, nice to meet you, what Elder God Horror did you embrace today?" While Raylan appreciated that transparency, he was prioritizing things and frankly, the understanding of what both men were in more practical, human terms took precedent. Questions could be shelved. Opportunities for experiences cannot.]
And I thought I had shitty jobs..
[He studied Jon and his snake for another long moment before nodding. If Jon wasn't a warden, if Raylan's gut didn't twist towards the truth of all this, he would have declined or asked for a raincheck, but he'd yet to actually meet Elias yet and nothing was better than having a file in his own head beforehand. Especially with how different everything was.]
Please rest assured this is a feeling. There is no one else here other than my cat and she is asleep in the living room. And anything further will be done only with your explicit consent.
[ Which is when his shoulders will relax, and the feeling of the room will change. That itch, that very specific feeling of eyes on you, of someone watching you, of someone just waiting for you to do something interesting or shameful, something you don't want anyone to know you do. Jon's own eyes hold a greater intensity than before, like there's somehow more of them looking at Raylan even though it's still just the two, not just at but wanting to look through. Straight into you to go digging around inside of you for your secrets. ]
[Raylan wasn't sure what he was expected, but the feeling of the world's attention warping around to point him was not it.
His fingers on his right hand twitched, a restrained habitual reach towards the sidearm that wasn't on his hip anyway and he wished, for the quarter of a second, he wishes he'd left his hat on. His shoulders squared, jaw setting as it dropped a fraction, and his hazel eyes went dark and hard. To any other regular human, his look would have been bordering on aggressive intimidation but Raylan didn't move or writhe under the pressure - just kept his eyes on Jon's like he was daring him to get through his walls as the hairs on the back of his neck strained in their sudden rise.
Raylan had spent his life hiding bits and pieces of him under pressure; the mask he wore was well comfortable on his face. He'd learned very young how to tuck himself away, to turn off, to become quiet and still.]
So you see. [His voice was even and low, like he was negotiating.]
The 'seeing' is closer to Elias's abilities; his title is the Watcher, and how much that means is... very much not an objective and easily definable thing. Much of how the Powers work is, er, it's all from living beings. So it's also shaped by them to some extent as well.
The parts I know involve being able to see through eyes, real or photographic or artistically rendered. He can Know things as I do, o-or he could. And that can be anything from 'how to administer a local anesthetic' to 'the exact feeling your loved one experienced as they died'. More importantly: he can inflict it on you.
[ A deep breath in and out. Mostly out. ]
Quite frankly, in a place where physical harm is... as manageable as it is here, the abilities of an avatar of the Beholding are singularly powerful. I don't know how much he has left to him with the Admiral suppressing his abilities. But I thought you should be aware, and on guard. He's had 200 years to learn how to use such abilities subtly and skillfully; he won't be as obvious as I'm being now, but that doesn't mean he isn't using what he has.
[ There's a moment that looks almost painful, as Jon closes his eyes and the feeling of focus, of being watched, of the eyes, slowly fades. ]
[Raylan had enough worldly experience to have heard of a few ideas enough to give him a basis for understanding, as rough as it was. Living Energy + The Power of Choice and the effects that can have weren't beyond them, in an amature shape.
But Jon's lack of confidence on what Elias could or could not do needed to be followed up on.
He was relieved when the sense fades, but back hairs weren't so easily smoothed when raised in such a way, and it was gonna take him several minutes and a fight against the urge to pace a little - he always thought better in motion - the latter of which was fought just as hard as the feeling that was seeping away. A very useful feeling to have in his back pocket.
Raylan took and let a deep breath from his throat with a little working of his jaw as he pointed grabbed and took a sip of his coffee.
God he could use a stiff drink right now. Could he 'push' that thought, make that Known?]
I need a picture of him. I thought the Admiral.. incapacitated these kind of things so that makes me assume that the rules, really, can't negate the fundamental reality of someone. You've told me what he can do, and suggested that he's.. not the best kinda guy in the world; what else can you tell me about him? Things he dislikes, habits he's taken to, things that might trigger him towards lashin' out.
[He might not have a notepad in hand, but bet that there was a file being compiled in the back of his head. Raylan wasn't put off or intimidated by the assignment.]
The Admiral can suppress gifts but usually does not suppress them completely to start. More often than not, they have a few abilities, or limited use of their abilities. It's why I wanted to let you know beforehand.
[ He settles back in his chair and leans back a little. His snake moves from around his neck to the chair beside him as a little ragdoll cat toddles up to Jon. There's a soft murmur to his sweet little darling before he draws her up into his lap to start petting her. Then he'll continue. ]
He's a man from the victorian era originally, and one from a background of privilege as well; his contemporaries include Robert Smirke, a prominent architect, along with a few others I could give you some notes on. As you might imagine, he likes to know things and not knowing them or being denied access to them is one way to make him upset. He likes to play games; one of his recent gambits involved a wager with an avatar of another power, known as the Lonely.
[ He swallows a little. ]
Which nearly destroyed the man I... love in the process.
[ His hands settle in Sasha's fur. ]
He also manipulated me for several years into getting involved in, facing, nearly dying from, being kidnapped by, and encountering a number of other forces and avatars in a gambit to bring the Eye into our world and trap everyone on earth, everyone on earth, in a nightmare existence of their worst fears or inflicting fear on others.
In his own words: [ and there's almost an overlay to his words, another voice, smoother and more smug and certainly more satisfied ] "I have dedicated my life to handing the world to these Dread Powers all for my own gain, and I feel… nothing but satisfaction in that choice. I am to be a king of a ruined world, and I shall never die."
[He stayed silent, a studious student and gave Jon all the proverbial room he needed to lay all this out. The Marshal's service didn't often deal with serial killers, but there were a stack of gruesome stories none the less. Some had Raylan's name on them. While Raylan wasn't really reacting much, the further Jon went on, the more his eyes narrowed and the more that fire in his gut flared.
Despite his best efforts, and unable to quite get his back hairs down, once Jon has finished Raylan blew out a breath and stood up with a rough rub at his salted goatee as he paced away and back again, one hand splaying fingers over his crookedly set hips.]
Okay. [Prioritization mode was still fully functioning. He met Jon's eye with a softer seriousness.]
First - I'm hoping that means your man came out of it alive. [Kinda hard to put someone on that power scale into the ground but that was still Raylan's gut instincts for this kind of situation. You don't fuck with loved ones. Especially not kids or partners. Even the attempt deserves the reward of negation.]
Second - Jesus fucking Christ. [Raylan sat back down, turned in his chair so an elbow could rest on the little table. There was too much in Raylan that could be used that way, and he hated Arlo a little harder.]
I-it does [ he says, hands starting up to pet the cat again, some of the life coming back into his face,] I was able to get him out. Though not without- not without leaving it's mark.
[ He breathes out slow. ]
And yes, it did work. Until I used my deal here to reverse what had happened and bring the world back to rights, as if it had never occurred. [ Because like hell was he leaving that in people's hearts and minds, nope, no way. There was no question there: the deal was to undo. Now? ] My current deal is something more... permanent.
I don't. I- I'll be honest: it's hard for me to imagine him being killed, being dead. It's one of the reasons I never thought he'd show up. Martin, my, um, my significant other, the man I mentioned, he's here, a-and he's from farther along than I am. He might have more information for you in regards to that. It's...
It's a sensitive subject, so I try not to pry p-purely for my own desire to Know. As you imagine, that could turn out poorly.
[The worsening stammer, however fraction, was enough for Raylan to lift a hand with a gentle nod.]
No, I can understand why.
Don't suppose anyone's tried to shoot him,[The words were given with a heavy sigh as he picked up the nearly forgotten cup, assuming that many had but when You Know, You know.]
[ Ah, here's another part, and his shoulders sink. ]
He tied all of our lives to the Institute and to him. He made it so that killing him would, effectively, kill all of us. And of course, when one of us tried regardless, it was just a matter of Knowing beforehand what she was about to try and circumventing it.
[Finally, with a sip of coffee and his little outburst over, Raylan's shoulders relaxed. He stayed stone still for a long second before bobbin his head and looking over with a wince as he righted himself in the chair.]
Anything I say right now is gonna be ignorant, so I won't say anythin' at all. That's a damned tough spot, no matter how it's spun.
I'll admit that this is.. a little over my head. [And No one was surprised.] I don't know if you know what a United States US Marshal is, but most of the guys I'm goin' after are running drugs, people, or guns. Not knowledge or Avatars. Hellva way for the Admiral to start me out.
[He took another deep breath.]
If I can ask another question, then..[He'd wait for confirmation before continuing.] Is there any kinda general Wardenin' advice you can give me? About Elias or otherwise. Somehow, I doubt this is like teaching, and I'm a shitty therapist.
I'm familiar with the idea. A-and no, I thought it might be a little outside of your usual experience. Hence the talk.
[ The last question is probably the hardest of all, and the one that makes him reach as far into his empathy as he thinks he has. The little snake slithers halfway over to rub at his hand with her head, flickering her tongue against his fingers. He lets out a sigh as he nods, ready to speak. ]
There was a time when he was... when there were people who loved him, depended on him. I have evidence of it, I've- I've read their letters, heard their stories. There was a time when- when the knowledge he sought was to help gain understanding. To help people who were in terrible trouble. W-when he felt kinship to others and he cared about them.
If he's here, then... then that man, however thin and broken he is, is still inside of the rat bastard who tried to end the world. There is redemption possible for him, I have to believe that, or I have no right to be here.
[ He looks away, because it's a little close to the bone as he continues. ]
Being... being an avatar of the Eye is- it holds with it an intrinsic loneliness. To watch... to watch is not to do. Watching is... it's something that puts you at a distance. A-and he's been at a distance from people, holding himself there, for 200 years.
I understand that this is- this is quite a lot. And I know there are wardens who see their temporary assignments as merely something to pass the time. But I- I hope you are not one of them. As awful as Elias- [ no, for this, he needs to be accurate ] as awful as Jonah has been to me, and to the people I care about, I know that- that all of it, at the heart of every avatar, is a fear. A fear that twists us into something else if we let it, and he- he has done just that.
Quite a bit. It's worth quite a bit. [Raylan took another deep breath.]
I don't take my job lightly and that is what this is to me; a job. Doesn't matter if it's for a month or a year. [He took his responsibilities seriously.]
Somehow, I'm not guessin' a Marshal from Kentucky is going to be overly affective but.. Maybe I'll find somethin' to drop into his head that'll take root. Make it easier for the next warden to handle him. Never thought that the adage 'It takes a village' would be set against somethin' like this..
Jonah, huh? What's with 'Elias' then? He doesn't sound like the type to go undercover.
[ He nods along and listens to what Raylan has to say and he clearly appreciates it. Pythia is the first to speak. ]
His daemon is named Victoria. She’s a moth and she’s very nice. We’re friends.
[ Jon’s lips are tight but he nods. He’s aware. And he doesn’t want to make a fuss about it. But Jon sighs at the last. ]
Elias Bouchard is the latest name he’s taken… and the latest body he’s used. Before he got here, his eyes were in the body of a former stoner who worked at the Institute.
The latest of many.
We’re all so used to calling him Elias it was just awkward to switch.
['We're friends' made Raylan's brow twitch into a furrow as he looked back at Jon. How?
But that was swept under again by the revelation of body-snatching and all for the better. It allowed him, later, to be oddly nonchalant about it.
Raylan could only pull a 'What the fuck' face and bury it into the bottom of his emptying coffee cup. He stared at it for a moment before shaking his head, setting the cup down and rubbing his face.]
His eyes were in - of course. [Why not.] I promise that I will do my best. Regardless of how successful I might be about it. If I were at home, I wouldn't believe a word of this but. Why else would he be here if it wasn't possible?
[ Jon gives a minute shake of his head; there’s no arguing with her on this. He’s tried. He doesn’t approve but he can’t do anything about it. Instead, he sighs. ]
That is what I try to remember.
Ultimately, this is… this is working at the source of the problem.
But… I get the feeling you at least take me seriously. So I can certainly do the same for you.
Many hands, light work, ect. [He took Jon deadly seriously.]
If you.. hear or get told anything you think I might need to know.. Trouble he's brewing that you or others might be made aware of. He seems like the type that needs to be gotten ahead of while the getting is good. I'm not lookin' to put a boot on his neck and I want to give him some room to exist in, but I know full well how quickly half an inch turns into a mile. Also pretty sure I'm gonna be a burr in his ass.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Whoa.
Raylan lifted a hand, eyes shutting for a moment before reopening enough to be halfmoons.]
I apologize; The only thing that comes to mind is Argus, the 100 eyed Greek god, and I could not tell you what 'Avatar' means in this context.
So he's the all seeing god of.. fear, chaos, paranoia, the shit that followed the broadcast of War of the Worlds back in the late 1930's?
[Raylan only had half a foot in disbelief, but nothing Jon could say would change that until he met the proof in the pudding - he was only trying to find the common ground of understanding. This wasn't a 'nod and uh-huh' your way through kinda lecture.]/small>
no subject
[ Pythia lifts her head. ]
Would it help to see it yourself? Or… feel it, I guess?
[ He looks down at the little snake with a wince before looking back up. ]
While I was, er, getting to that, that is an option.
no subject
[Raylan's head bobbed and weaved backwards a fraction at the suggestion, full of incredulous confusion - it's not his fault really, he is a painfully sheltered human in the big bad multiverse and somewhere down below, a reindeer huffed a breath at Raylan's previous protective persistence.]
What do you mean?
no subject
Less rise from the sea and-
Well, the less said about that part, the better.
[ A deep breath.j ]
An avatar, in this case, is someone who has... who has been partially transformed by their power into something more, and less, than human. A fully realized avatar is someone who has... who would have died had they not... leaned into that part.
Such as Elias... and myself.
[ The little snake head leans up and nuzzles his cheek. ]
no subject
Alright. [He can handle facts, he can suspend his disbelief for the polite, for the reassurance that this was reality and he was going to have to take it.]
Its on trust that I'm not askin' what you leaned into; you're a warden and I have to put some trust into that position. So y'all are big bads. [Normally otherwise above his paygrade.]
What do you mean 'better to see or feel it', what's that option.
no subject
You can ask. I don't keep secrets here, for any number of reasons, starting with the fact that I'm a warden and I happen to believe that I owe people a certain amount of transparency as such.
[ He spreads a hand. ]
Elias offered me the position of Head Archivist of the Magnus Institute, a prestigious organization dedicated to the study and investigation of the paranormal. I was unaware at the time that this position came with... the transformation I mention.
They don't exactly wait for informed consent
[ He clears his throat and nods. ]
Quite. What I 'leaned into' was deciding to live out of fear for what might happen to those I cared for were I to remain dead, largely because Elias seemed content to use them as cannon fodder in his schemes. As such, I am currently... an Archivist. And what I mean is... I can show you a little of what that means, i-in a non-harmful sense, obviously.
no subject
And I thought I had shitty jobs..
[He studied Jon and his snake for another long moment before nodding. If Jon wasn't a warden, if Raylan's gut didn't twist towards the truth of all this, he would have declined or asked for a raincheck, but he'd yet to actually meet Elias yet and nothing was better than having a file in his own head beforehand. Especially with how different everything was.]
I'd like to understand. Whatever that looks like.
no subject
[ He holds up a single hand. ]
Please rest assured this is a feeling. There is no one else here other than my cat and she is asleep in the living room. And anything further will be done only with your explicit consent.
[ Which is when his shoulders will relax, and the feeling of the room will change. That itch, that very specific feeling of eyes on you, of someone watching you, of someone just waiting for you to do something interesting or shameful, something you don't want anyone to know you do. Jon's own eyes hold a greater intensity than before, like there's somehow more of them looking at Raylan even though it's still just the two, not just at but wanting to look through. Straight into you to go digging around inside of you for your secrets. ]
no subject
His fingers on his right hand twitched, a restrained habitual reach towards the sidearm that wasn't on his hip anyway and he wished, for the quarter of a second, he wishes he'd left his hat on. His shoulders squared, jaw setting as it dropped a fraction, and his hazel eyes went dark and hard. To any other regular human, his look would have been bordering on aggressive intimidation but Raylan didn't move or writhe under the pressure - just kept his eyes on Jon's like he was daring him to get through his walls as the hairs on the back of his neck strained in their sudden rise.
Raylan had spent his life hiding bits and pieces of him under pressure; the mask he wore was well comfortable on his face. He'd learned very young how to tuck himself away, to turn off, to become quiet and still.]
So you see. [His voice was even and low, like he was negotiating.]
no subject
The 'seeing' is closer to Elias's abilities; his title is the Watcher, and how much that means is... very much not an objective and easily definable thing. Much of how the Powers work is, er, it's all from living beings. So it's also shaped by them to some extent as well.
The parts I know involve being able to see through eyes, real or photographic or artistically rendered. He can Know things as I do, o-or he could. And that can be anything from 'how to administer a local anesthetic' to 'the exact feeling your loved one experienced as they died'. More importantly: he can inflict it on you.
[ A deep breath in and out. Mostly out. ]
Quite frankly, in a place where physical harm is... as manageable as it is here, the abilities of an avatar of the Beholding are singularly powerful. I don't know how much he has left to him with the Admiral suppressing his abilities. But I thought you should be aware, and on guard. He's had 200 years to learn how to use such abilities subtly and skillfully; he won't be as obvious as I'm being now, but that doesn't mean he isn't using what he has.
[ There's a moment that looks almost painful, as Jon closes his eyes and the feeling of focus, of being watched, of the eyes, slowly fades. ]
no subject
But Jon's lack of confidence on what Elias could or could not do needed to be followed up on.
He was relieved when the sense fades, but back hairs weren't so easily smoothed when raised in such a way, and it was gonna take him several minutes and a fight against the urge to pace a little - he always thought better in motion - the latter of which was fought just as hard as the feeling that was seeping away. A very useful feeling to have in his back pocket.
Raylan took and let a deep breath from his throat with a little working of his jaw as he pointed grabbed and took a sip of his coffee.
God he could use a stiff drink right now. Could he 'push' that thought, make that Known?]
I need a picture of him. I thought the Admiral.. incapacitated these kind of things so that makes me assume that the rules, really, can't negate the fundamental reality of someone. You've told me what he can do, and suggested that he's.. not the best kinda guy in the world; what else can you tell me about him? Things he dislikes, habits he's taken to, things that might trigger him towards lashin' out.
[He might not have a notepad in hand, but bet that there was a file being compiled in the back of his head. Raylan wasn't put off or intimidated by the assignment.]
no subject
[ He settles back in his chair and leans back a little. His snake moves from around his neck to the chair beside him as a little ragdoll cat toddles up to Jon. There's a soft murmur to his sweet little darling before he draws her up into his lap to start petting her. Then he'll continue. ]
He's a man from the victorian era originally, and one from a background of privilege as well; his contemporaries include Robert Smirke, a prominent architect, along with a few others I could give you some notes on. As you might imagine, he likes to know things and not knowing them or being denied access to them is one way to make him upset. He likes to play games; one of his recent gambits involved a wager with an avatar of another power, known as the Lonely.
[ He swallows a little. ]
Which nearly destroyed the man I... love in the process.
[ His hands settle in Sasha's fur. ]
He also manipulated me for several years into getting involved in, facing, nearly dying from, being kidnapped by, and encountering a number of other forces and avatars in a gambit to bring the Eye into our world and trap everyone on earth, everyone on earth, in a nightmare existence of their worst fears or inflicting fear on others.
In his own words: [ and there's almost an overlay to his words, another voice, smoother and more smug and certainly more satisfied ] "I have dedicated my life to handing the world to these Dread Powers all for my own gain, and I feel… nothing but satisfaction in that choice. I am to be a king of a ruined world, and I shall never die."
[ Before he shudders and shakes it off. ]
no subject
Despite his best efforts, and unable to quite get his back hairs down, once Jon has finished Raylan blew out a breath and stood up with a rough rub at his salted goatee as he paced away and back again, one hand splaying fingers over his crookedly set hips.]
Okay. [Prioritization mode was still fully functioning. He met Jon's eye with a softer seriousness.]
First - I'm hoping that means your man came out of it alive. [Kinda hard to put someone on that power scale into the ground but that was still Raylan's gut instincts for this kind of situation. You don't fuck with loved ones. Especially not kids or partners. Even the attempt deserves the reward of negation.]
Second - Jesus fucking Christ. [Raylan sat back down, turned in his chair so an elbow could rest on the little table. There was too much in Raylan that could be used that way, and he hated Arlo a little harder.]
Third - Did it work?
no subject
[ He breathes out slow. ]
And yes, it did work. Until I used my deal here to reverse what had happened and bring the world back to rights, as if it had never occurred. [ Because like hell was he leaving that in people's hearts and minds, nope, no way. There was no question there: the deal was to undo. Now? ] My current deal is something more... permanent.
no subject
Second answer: Significantly less good.
Jesus. Jon's world was damned lucky to have him, in that case.]
I've.. been made aware of time discrepancies between people, even from the same world. Do you know where he's at on that timeline?
no subject
I don't. I- I'll be honest: it's hard for me to imagine him being killed, being dead. It's one of the reasons I never thought he'd show up. Martin, my, um, my significant other, the man I mentioned, he's here, a-and he's from farther along than I am. He might have more information for you in regards to that. It's...
It's a sensitive subject, so I try not to pry p-purely for my own desire to Know. As you imagine, that could turn out poorly.
no subject
No, I can understand why.
Don't suppose anyone's tried to shoot him,[The words were given with a heavy sigh as he picked up the nearly forgotten cup, assuming that many had but when You Know, You know.]
no subject
[ Ah, here's another part, and his shoulders sink. ]
He tied all of our lives to the Institute and to him. He made it so that killing him would, effectively, kill all of us. And of course, when one of us tried regardless, it was just a matter of Knowing beforehand what she was about to try and circumventing it.
no subject
Anything I say right now is gonna be ignorant, so I won't say anythin' at all. That's a damned tough spot, no matter how it's spun.
I'll admit that this is.. a little over my head. [And No one was surprised.] I don't know if you know what a United States US Marshal is, but most of the guys I'm goin' after are running drugs, people, or guns. Not knowledge or Avatars. Hellva way for the Admiral to start me out.
[He took another deep breath.]
If I can ask another question, then..[He'd wait for confirmation before continuing.] Is there any kinda general Wardenin' advice you can give me? About Elias or otherwise. Somehow, I doubt this is like teaching, and I'm a shitty therapist.
no subject
[ The last question is probably the hardest of all, and the one that makes him reach as far into his empathy as he thinks he has. The little snake slithers halfway over to rub at his hand with her head, flickering her tongue against his fingers. He lets out a sigh as he nods, ready to speak. ]
There was a time when he was... when there were people who loved him, depended on him. I have evidence of it, I've- I've read their letters, heard their stories. There was a time when- when the knowledge he sought was to help gain understanding. To help people who were in terrible trouble. W-when he felt kinship to others and he cared about them.
If he's here, then... then that man, however thin and broken he is, is still inside of the rat bastard who tried to end the world. There is redemption possible for him, I have to believe that, or I have no right to be here.
[ He looks away, because it's a little close to the bone as he continues. ]
Being... being an avatar of the Eye is- it holds with it an intrinsic loneliness. To watch... to watch is not to do. Watching is... it's something that puts you at a distance. A-and he's been at a distance from people, holding himself there, for 200 years.
I understand that this is- this is quite a lot. And I know there are wardens who see their temporary assignments as merely something to pass the time. But I- I hope you are not one of them. As awful as Elias- [ no, for this, he needs to be accurate ] as awful as Jonah has been to me, and to the people I care about, I know that- that all of it, at the heart of every avatar, is a fear. A fear that twists us into something else if we let it, and he- he has done just that.
[ A long breath out. ]
For whatever that's worth.
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I don't take my job lightly and that is what this is to me; a job. Doesn't matter if it's for a month or a year. [He took his responsibilities seriously.]
Somehow, I'm not guessin' a Marshal from Kentucky is going to be overly affective but.. Maybe I'll find somethin' to drop into his head that'll take root. Make it easier for the next warden to handle him. Never thought that the adage 'It takes a village' would be set against somethin' like this..
Jonah, huh? What's with 'Elias' then? He doesn't sound like the type to go undercover.
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His daemon is named Victoria. She’s a moth and she’s very nice. We’re friends.
[ Jon’s lips are tight but he nods. He’s aware. And he doesn’t want to make a fuss about it. But Jon sighs at the last. ]
Elias Bouchard is the latest name he’s taken… and the latest body he’s used. Before he got here, his eyes were in the body of a former stoner who worked at the Institute.
The latest of many.
We’re all so used to calling him Elias it was just awkward to switch.
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But that was swept under again by the revelation of body-snatching and all for the better. It allowed him, later, to be oddly nonchalant about it.
Raylan could only pull a 'What the fuck' face and bury it into the bottom of his emptying coffee cup. He stared at it for a moment before shaking his head, setting the cup down and rubbing his face.]
His eyes were in - of course. [Why not.] I promise that I will do my best. Regardless of how successful I might be about it. If I were at home, I wouldn't believe a word of this but. Why else would he be here if it wasn't possible?
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That is what I try to remember.
Ultimately, this is… this is working at the source of the problem.
But… I get the feeling you at least take me seriously. So I can certainly do the same for you.
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If you.. hear or get told anything you think I might need to know.. Trouble he's brewing that you or others might be made aware of. He seems like the type that needs to be gotten ahead of while the getting is good. I'm not lookin' to put a boot on his neck and I want to give him some room to exist in, but I know full well how quickly half an inch turns into a mile. Also pretty sure I'm gonna be a burr in his ass.
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thank u for blowing his miiiiiiind~~