TLV: Inbox

[tinstar]

Comments

[tinstar]

Does that mean it's still on the table, considerin'?

[abrightboy]

I don’t know what’s on the table anymore. She had Jesus call me up and encourage me to help Will by separating from him for a while.

[tinstar]

Still haven't talked to that one - [Half muttered and only to himself.]

I very much doubt that takin' away a person that makes him feel safe and secure will help. She's worried about you gettin' in the way of whatever her aim for his mental health is.

She got any kind of good reason for that, Malcolm? Objectivly?

[abrightboy]

No. I’m helping with his mental health. I’m trained in mental health. And I want him to graduate. We have plans for that.

[tinstar]

And how is yours doing?

[abrightboy]

It would be better if I had any information about how long this 24 hour surveillance is going to last or if she’d let me stay with him at some point. Did you find some out?

[tinstar]

I don't think she's got a time limit set. Imagine it depends on how Will is doing. As for you, she doesn't trust you and somehow, doesn't agree with the fact that helping Will and helping him graduate is in your interests as much as it is hers.

I do think that I've at least sown a few seeds for her to consider, including possibly letting me help. She's suspicious of me though, thinks I take everything you tell me as gospel like I don't have my own mind or objective opinions.

[abrightboy]

She's the only objective person in the world. She didn't explain that to you?

Late morning the next day

[abrightboy]

I sent Shaw a very angry text and, while I don’t think I was factually wrong about the thing I’m mad about, I think that I was unnecessarily… cutting.

[tinstar]

Says somethin' when you think it's too cuttin'.

Start with the thing you're mad about though, I assume it's.. everythin' but, you know what they say about assuming.

[abrightboy]

I thought what I said to you was too cutting. This is about on par with that, actually.

[tinstar]

She's a big girl, Malcolm. She can handle it.

The rest depends on how much you'd like to have any kinda functionin' relationship with her. For Will's sake or otherwise.

[abrightboy]

I did want that. I've tried for a long time. But she doesn't respect me and she doesn't think I'm... a functional human and she doesn't think I'm good for Will and I don't see how to have a functioning relationship with her starting from there.

[tinstar]

Did or Do? Because I think you're right - a lotta work is on her side. But it'll be your choice if you show up to be witness to the first steps of that and up to her as to if she's willin' to change her perspectives.

Not often in a conversation do I have to ask if I'm speakin' the English language with someone.

[abrightboy]

...It's not just me?

[tinstar]

No, [he huffs it with a rueful, tired sound to match the equally tired flash across his face.] No, it ain't you. But I also don't think she's doin' it on purpose or to be specifically an asshole, and that's somethin'. A big somethin'.

[abrightboy]

She’s been calling people I only kind of know or that I work with asking them to talk to me. Telling them that I don’t know why Will is an inmate and that I’m trying to Warden him and that he’s trying to manipulate me. If people think I’m incompetent and foolish, how am I supposed to work in counselling?

[tinstar]

That one's harder. There's a few options and not many of them are aligned to what we're supposed to be doin' here. Comes down to if you shoulder it or if you fight back.

And it's onna the few occasions where I'd fall more on the side of shoulderin' it... But I shoulder shit in a similar vein - not at this level but- Obviously, I'd fall on that side. What do you get outta openly fightin' it outside of gettin' dragged into the mud.

[abrightboy]

…So just… don’t work in counselling?

[tinstar]

What? No. Fuck that. Don't let anyone chase you outta any place or outta any profession.

Either you let the cards fall as they are and take the passive route, folks that are worth their mettle will make up their own minds, or you don't, and you start gettin' into arguments with everyone she's set up to think like that. One takes a hellva lot more energy than the other.

[abrightboy]

I don’t understand how that works either way. It’s not like law enforcement, where the choice to engage doesn’t belong strictly to the other person. If people who see me there lose confidence in me, they’ll drop me. And if I try to fight it in public, I’ll look sad and defensive because I’m literally better at relating to people socially than nobody on board.

[tinstar]

If the people who see you there lose confidence in you, then they're not worth the effort in the first place and are weakminded folk that let someone like Shaw set their expectations and understandings. That'll come back to bite them in the ass sooner or later.

You fight it and yeah, that'll be the outcome.

[abrightboy]

But if I don’t have clients and just sit in an office while people whisper about me and laugh, am I actually working in counselling?

[tinstar]

They're gonna whisper about you and laugh anyway by this logic, aren't they? Why should that drive you off from what you're tryin' to do? How is that anythin' more than rewardin' them for it all? Provin' them right in once case or another.

[abrightboy]

So just… sit in the empty office with my head held high?