He studies her, normally well cut chin vanishing into the thin skin of where his neck and chin meat, a small smile curling at his lips.
"Yeah? And I'm gonna fix that you know," he says lifting an arm to invite her into his chest. "I'm not gettin' any younger. I gotta retire at some point, right?"
That was the goal - a house by the beach and no assholes for him to be chasing. Maybe he'd get a boat.
His arm drapes heavily around her, locking her in against him.
"It's a goal post though. Something to keep our eyes on." He felt just as trapped in it as she did, but it was what he'd signed up for, only a few years beyond what she was now.
"Can't imagine a world where I don't wanna spend time with my little girl," he sighs, words starting to take the heavier tilt towards sleep, accent deepening a little. "Just ain't gonna happen."
He would always want to spend time with her because he knew one day she'd grow up and not want that anymore.
Willa smiles, a little bit, but it hurts. She closes her eyes and listens to his heartbeat under her ear. The weight of his arm around her makes her feel safer than any amount of distance between Detroit and Florida ever could.
She can tell he's starting to fall asleep. She can't make herself mess that up to ask him if he's died on board. What it's like. How much it happens. He never falls asleep first when she's visiting, half the time she's pretty sure he doesn't fall asleep at all, because he's always awake before she is too.
"I love you, dad," she says, under her breath. It's not embarrassing if no one else knows she said it.
He's too far gone to pick up the specifics of the words, but not so far gone that he didn't hear the murmur. His arm tightens a little and he exhales with a little hum of reciprocation.
Raylan would still be awake before she was and wholly stayed in bed a little longer just to watch his daughter sleep so peacefully before going to make and enjoy his morning coffee.
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"Yeah? And I'm gonna fix that you know," he says lifting an arm to invite her into his chest. "I'm not gettin' any younger. I gotta retire at some point, right?"
That was the goal - a house by the beach and no assholes for him to be chasing. Maybe he'd get a boat.
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Willa doesn't sound overly optimistic. "I mean I know the mandatory retirement age is 57, but you're not there yet."
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"It's a goal post though. Something to keep our eyes on." He felt just as trapped in it as she did, but it was what he'd signed up for, only a few years beyond what she was now.
"Can't imagine a world where I don't wanna spend time with my little girl," he sighs, words starting to take the heavier tilt towards sleep, accent deepening a little. "Just ain't gonna happen."
He would always want to spend time with her because he knew one day she'd grow up and not want that anymore.
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She can tell he's starting to fall asleep. She can't make herself mess that up to ask him if he's died on board. What it's like. How much it happens. He never falls asleep first when she's visiting, half the time she's pretty sure he doesn't fall asleep at all, because he's always awake before she is too.
"I love you, dad," she says, under her breath. It's not embarrassing if no one else knows she said it.
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Raylan would still be awake before she was and wholly stayed in bed a little longer just to watch his daughter sleep so peacefully before going to make and enjoy his morning coffee.
Maybe things would be okay. Maybe.