"It'll be enough, James. Accepting the way of this place isn't gonna make you less or stupid or useless. It's just gonna be an adjustment. A differently way of employing those skills you've spent a lifetime sharpening. There's a use for them in leadership. People management. You're just dealin' with a different school of fish."
James feels everything twisting around in his chest, tying him in knots. His negativity, guilt, and self-loathing deny it all and want to rail against what Raylan was saying. But he doesn't have the energy left to argue and he doesn't want to give those feelings any more breathing room. He's tired of people telling him this isn't his ship as if he doesn't already know that. He's tired of people misunderstanding and treating him like he isn't trying to use what he knows for this setting. He's tired of fucking fighting against the tide and bothering to give a fuck where no one else does.
He just wants his life with Raylan and nothing else matters. He finishes his whiskey and sets the glass aside.
"I don't want to talk about this anymore. I just want you." His gaze flicks up, pleading and vulnerable. He just wants to wrap himself around his lover and listen to his heartbeat, maybe take a damn nap or something to force his brain to shut off for awhile.
Raylan looks at him a long moment and nods softly, glancing down at their hands and squeezes softly. "Okay baby. You got me. It's alright."
He'd leave it alone. He wasn't going anywhere. Raylan unlaced their hands and slipped his around James's shoulders, pulling him into a side hug if there wasn't any resistance.
"Whatever you want." He'd absolutely be into just laying here together, just being, just comforting James with no other conversation. Raylan was willing and pliable and love James no matter what. They'd get through it.
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He just wants his life with Raylan and nothing else matters. He finishes his whiskey and sets the glass aside.
"I don't want to talk about this anymore. I just want you." His gaze flicks up, pleading and vulnerable. He just wants to wrap himself around his lover and listen to his heartbeat, maybe take a damn nap or something to force his brain to shut off for awhile.
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He'd leave it alone. He wasn't going anywhere. Raylan unlaced their hands and slipped his around James's shoulders, pulling him into a side hug if there wasn't any resistance.
"Whatever you want." He'd absolutely be into just laying here together, just being, just comforting James with no other conversation. Raylan was willing and pliable and love James no matter what. They'd get through it.