Sweeney had already been calculating, watching the balls dance ineffectively, so the divergence of topic pulls him back to more focus.
"Longer than me. Don't know how much. Long 'nough ta matter ta the people here. Ta care 'bout them in kind." The answer is quiet, but without reservation. His lips press, and licks them apart.
"Long 'nough ta come ta hate this place." He sucks his tongue before he walks along the table.
"But she was waitin'. Fer me."
He bends, darkened eyes honed. A quick snap bounces a ball free, granting it a slow crawl towards a side pocket. No sink. Third one blocked.
How long did it take for people to get to that point, Raylan wondered. How long until he was at that point. He was halfway to the first point - and it had taken him near a year to feel like there was anyone he would be allowed to care about. Red, Roman and James, Gonou, Jedao - T, Hunter, Steve, B.
"Not an easy loss," he says dumbly, quietly before taking another drink of his whiskey. He circles the table again, lining up his next shot.
"Will you see her again when you graduate?" He knew how many folks Traveled, though the rules of it were a little fuzzy for him. He takes his shot, the crack of ball against ball unusually loud for some reason - hitting his ball but sinking Red's. "Well shit," he mutters under his breath as he pulls back.
There's no smile or gloat at the unintended sink; he just moves to line up his next shot.
"Hopin' to." The words are softer and more vulnerable than he'd like, and he pushes them back up with an attempt at casual dismissiveness. Even if he will, it won't be anytime soon.
"Need least two Deals ta be safe ta be 'round her."
That's the big difference with her being there, instead of here, with him. Admiral is the only thing keeping his Bad Luck in check. And he doesn't want her to end up with a pole shoved through her face.
A flick of his wrist tucks another ball against the mouth of a pocket, and he doesn't look to Raylan as he relinquishes the table.
And that was why Raylan didn't mind playing games with Red or anyone with that kind of attitude about it. Sore Winners were just as annoying as sore losers.
He circles the table again, sighing at the spread as he chews his bottom lip thoughtfully. Instead of taking a shot, he looks up at Red from under his eyebrows, not moving his face from it's slant taken looking at the table.
"Two? I know you gettin' your coin is one.. Laura's apparently gonna try and take care of Wednesday - Fix your luck and your second deal is gettin' to her, isn't it?"
The name 'Laura' is still something sticky in the mouth; Dead Wife is far more natural and keeps lines properly drawn. Sweeney shrugs it off.
"Nah. Me an' Dead Wife shouldn't be 'round each other, e'en with my Coin back in my custody. She best be back ta her man by then." He licks his lip as he studies the table.
"Lookin' ta get rid'a my Curse," he counters with a lift of his finger. His head tips, as if to imply his temple without touching it. His Madness. Being free of it would be well worth a Deal.
"Mm," Raylan sounds, the note full of silent opinions and feelings about it. He was glad he'd gotten to met the small fiery woman; the context he'd gotten was invaluable. But Laura was something to be separated from this woman that was helping Sweeney along. There was something different about the possibilities on the Barge verses what awaited them at home. Different situations, different constraints.
"Right," he continues with a nod. "Though I think she'd be with you, curse or not. Ain't that what love is? Flaws and all?"
He knew Sweeney didn't like talking about love, but it was clear that he loved Her. And Love was important.
"She best fuckin' not be," Sweeney starts, still hung up on the Dead Wife angle. Silence stills him in unsureness. What if that isn't who Raylan's talking about? That makes it all the worse. Certainly more uncomfortable, nd he shifts his weight between his hips.
"She dunn't love me," he mutters through tight teeth.
"I meant this mystery women who's name I haven't asked you for yet, but Dead wife-" He knew what Red called her when he wasn't calling her Cunt. "-That's an interesting debate. Awful odd that a woman who is so focused on her man finds herself fulfilling your vengeance. She can say it's for Shadow but it rings hollow. She 'hates' you awful hard."
It was almost cute, in it's teenagerish way. If it wasn't so crazy and angry and desperate a connection that neither of them could really argue against being there.
"If you don't mind me sayin' so and havin' an opinion on it. Considerin' our conversation thus far."
He doesn't say the words, but the roll of his eyes does it for him. When it boils down to it, he rather being talking about Dead Wife, if he has to choose between the two.
"She's got plenty'a her own reasons ta go after Grimnir. Get her man back out from under his thumb." Obviously. "'Cause he's a lyin' one-eyed cunt that fucked her o'er. More than once. An'...oh yeah. Fuckin' killin' her in the first fuckin' place." Sweeney, defensive? Never.
There's no way in fuck he's falling for this Notion the marshal is trying to peddle at him. Dead Wife had made her feelings perfectly clear in New Orleans. And just about every minute before then.
Raylan shrugs with his face, lips downturning in time with a lift of his eyebrows in return. Tough titty, Jack - that can of worms had been opened and he knew full well that there would be a point where Sweeney's pride or heart sewed his lips closed again.
"Her reason for doin' it and the fact that it matches up with yours doesn't make it a choice on her side. Just a matter of fact. Luck, maybe, considerin' she's there to take that shot. It'd track. And with a rap sheet like that, what's one more sin on the proverbial docket."
Now he could take his shot, bending over again, to finally sink a ball and a small sound of victory to himself in the form of inhaling sharply over his teeth.
"You're gonna havta give me a name for Her eventually, for the sake of us both, ya know."
Sweeney's ready to dig in harder on the 'reasons he doesn't give a shit about Dead Wife', when he feels Raylan shift gears back to the former topic.
Great.
His jaw tightens, then rocks.
"Like fuck, I do." He frowns, firm on the point.
"Ain't my name ta give."
And it isn't. To him, she's Swamp Rat, but that's for no one else. B knew her before, and if the marshal comes to it by proxy, they'll cross that bridge when the time comes.
"I did say A name. Can't be leavin' people out here with nothin' to be called by. Disrespectful, I'd think," he says ambivalently, bending back over to take another shot. And a good one, but not good enough; his ball bounces off the corner pocket, hits one of Red's, and comes to a halt at the edge.
"And it's never better to leave it to someone else's idea of creativity."
The frown does not lessen, and it remains fixed on Raylan while the man takes his shots.
"Or we can just go back ta not talkin' 'bout her." It's sounding like a increasingly good idea.
Point made, Sweeney crosses around the table, focusing a little longer than he needs to to set a ball neatly at the mouth of a fresh pocket, waiting to be tapped in by another ball.
"So long as you understand when I suggested she should love you for your flaws, I wasn't talkin' about Laura," he replies, only half leaning on his stick for the brief moment it takes for Red to shoot.
He found his shot and took it, but sank another of Red's balls as well, and sucked his teeth in a short sound.
"Just cause you'll lose some of them doesn't mean you'll lose all of them," he points out as he goes back to circling the table.
"But if she came to love you, she'd hav'ta give a shit about what's wrong with you. That's what it's all about. Sometimes taking the shot is worth the risk, that's all I'm sayin'. But I can appreciate wantin' that table cleared."
A shot and a miss; the cue ball hit a stripe, but nothing sank.
"Everything's easier when business is taken care of. It's movement, progression. That's a good thing." Red had goals - a path of action even if he wasn't sure how to get to the first goalpost. That was a big step.
It was an issue that Raylan had actually,finally, thought about that whole thing and he agreed there were some etherical problems with the idea. He didn't know what he'd do if he ever found himself as James's warden. He had to hope things wouldn't ever fall out like that.
"Hard spot." He chews the inside of his cheek, an idea coming to mind, one that was likely bad to be voiced. Sweeney didn't like the soft kumbaya shit.
"You've been around forever, Red. You'll find it again. Statistically, even." To take the heart out of it. "Even if it's gettin' back to her.... Sink that ball so I can shoot, huh? Lemme ask you somethin' different - You got a favorite holiday that ain't your own? Anythin' you enjoy?"
He felt like he was trying to bend around a bullet.
He doesn't want statistically. He wants their Anywhere Else, whatever that looks like. Even if she can't love him, he believes in his bones she'll still want him; his company and intimacy and the way they always accept each other. The way they're better when they're together.
But Sweeney finds he doesn't have to delve hard into that argument. The new path is easier, though the pain isn't much less.
"Samhain." He shrugs it off as casually as he's able.
"Faerie holiday."
And the first they had shared together. The one it was her duty to plan (since they traded off).
"I really gotta read a few books," Raylan admitted with a sigh and a lift of his eyebrows. "I wish I could tell you I knew what that was but.. Where I come from, it's all bible thumpers and preachers.. My granddaddy was a preacher. Might explain why Arlo turned out the way he did but."
He takes another breath and sidles up to the table, shifting his cue stick to take another shot. He sunk a ball but sunk one of Sweeney's too. He swore under his breath.
"Fuckin' certain." There's a dryness, but no bitterness, which is honestly a step up.
"Folk here do Halloween," he concedes, resigned to the situation. It's almost better that way, her not being here. He can resent the holiday and not her absence.
"Bible folk hate that shit too, so I'm guessin' that's close 'nough." There's enough jest to imply that sometimes pissing people off is its own reward. Hence his cassock at Dorian's party.
Sweeney studies the table, looking for how best to clean things up.
"The bible folk that don't sink too far into the extremes of belief, do have some cute ass Halloween parties, otherwise they'll lose the young souls to the devil. Plans for keepin' them inside and engagin' in 'Jesus's fun'." The tone of voice included a dry eyeroll. He wasn't overly impressed with it all, needless to say.
"I never much cared for Halloween, but that's because I spend them on cases, dealin' with the public at their loosest and loudest and drunkest. Lotta fires, proverbial and otherwise to deal with. Always crazier on Halloween. I like the forth of July but that's only because I can get somethin' grilled and a cold beer. Offensively American, I know but.."
He shrugs a little. He'd lived the Suburban life and seen it's tasty, grilled meat perks. There was often hottubs, or swimming. No one could blame him.
Raylan's not wrong about any of those observations. Some of the many reasons Sweeney isn't keen on Halloween. Only Dorian's predilections towards debauchery has him considering the potential merits. The new topic makes his eyes roll up beneath their lids, but it's in muted amusement.
"You an' fuckin' Steve." Sweeney refocuses his attention on the marshal.
"Ya know it's his fuckin' birthday? No wonder he is what he is. Folk Believin' him too hard fer him ta be anythin' else."
Not that it makes the White Hat vibe more palatable, but he understands the feeling of being made into something without your consent.
His eyebrows lift over a smile. "Really? Shit. We're gonna have to havta have a big ass BBQ for him when it comes around." But the lifted eyebrows fell into a soft furrow, chin lifting in curiosity.
"What do you mean 'he is what he is'? What is he?" What did Raylan miss?
His gaze slips askew in place of a proper eye roll.
"The Whitest of Hats. A force fer good, the Boy Scout ideal. Helping hands an' sweet smiles an' kissin' babies. Wholesome as apple pie at a county fair, reeks of walkin' girls home without so much as a goodnight kiss on the cheek. Practically bleeds red, white, an' blue at the dawn of the Atomic Age."
Sweeney doesn't fault Steve; that's the point. But it doesn't make the qualities more appealing.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
"Longer than me. Don't know how much. Long 'nough ta matter ta the people here. Ta care 'bout them in kind." The answer is quiet, but without reservation. His lips press, and licks them apart.
"Long 'nough ta come ta hate this place." He sucks his tongue before he walks along the table.
"But she was waitin'. Fer me."
He bends, darkened eyes honed. A quick snap bounces a ball free, granting it a slow crawl towards a side pocket. No sink. Third one blocked.
no subject
"Not an easy loss," he says dumbly, quietly before taking another drink of his whiskey. He circles the table again, lining up his next shot.
"Will you see her again when you graduate?" He knew how many folks Traveled, though the rules of it were a little fuzzy for him. He takes his shot, the crack of ball against ball unusually loud for some reason - hitting his ball but sinking Red's. "Well shit," he mutters under his breath as he pulls back.
no subject
"Hopin' to." The words are softer and more vulnerable than he'd like, and he pushes them back up with an attempt at casual dismissiveness. Even if he will, it won't be anytime soon.
"Need least two Deals ta be safe ta be 'round her."
That's the big difference with her being there, instead of here, with him. Admiral is the only thing keeping his Bad Luck in check. And he doesn't want her to end up with a pole shoved through her face.
A flick of his wrist tucks another ball against the mouth of a pocket, and he doesn't look to Raylan as he relinquishes the table.
no subject
He circles the table again, sighing at the spread as he chews his bottom lip thoughtfully. Instead of taking a shot, he looks up at Red from under his eyebrows, not moving his face from it's slant taken looking at the table.
"Two? I know you gettin' your coin is one.. Laura's apparently gonna try and take care of Wednesday - Fix your luck and your second deal is gettin' to her, isn't it?"
no subject
"Nah. Me an' Dead Wife shouldn't be 'round each other, e'en with my Coin back in my custody. She best be back ta her man by then." He licks his lip as he studies the table.
"Lookin' ta get rid'a my Curse," he counters with a lift of his finger. His head tips, as if to imply his temple without touching it. His Madness. Being free of it would be well worth a Deal.
no subject
"Right," he continues with a nod. "Though I think she'd be with you, curse or not. Ain't that what love is? Flaws and all?"
He knew Sweeney didn't like talking about love, but it was clear that he loved Her. And Love was important.
no subject
"She dunn't love me," he mutters through tight teeth.
Either of them, when it comes down to it.
no subject
It was almost cute, in it's teenagerish way. If it wasn't so crazy and angry and desperate a connection that neither of them could really argue against being there.
"If you don't mind me sayin' so and havin' an opinion on it. Considerin' our conversation thus far."
no subject
He doesn't say the words, but the roll of his eyes does it for him. When it boils down to it, he rather being talking about Dead Wife, if he has to choose between the two.
"She's got plenty'a her own reasons ta go after Grimnir. Get her man back out from under his thumb." Obviously. "'Cause he's a lyin' one-eyed cunt that fucked her o'er. More than once. An'...oh yeah. Fuckin' killin' her in the first fuckin' place." Sweeney, defensive? Never.
There's no way in fuck he's falling for this Notion the marshal is trying to peddle at him. Dead Wife had made her feelings perfectly clear in New Orleans. And just about every minute before then.
no subject
"Her reason for doin' it and the fact that it matches up with yours doesn't make it a choice on her side. Just a matter of fact. Luck, maybe, considerin' she's there to take that shot. It'd track. And with a rap sheet like that, what's one more sin on the proverbial docket."
Now he could take his shot, bending over again, to finally sink a ball and a small sound of victory to himself in the form of inhaling sharply over his teeth.
"You're gonna havta give me a name for Her eventually, for the sake of us both, ya know."
no subject
Great.
His jaw tightens, then rocks.
"Like fuck, I do." He frowns, firm on the point.
"Ain't my name ta give."
And it isn't. To him, she's Swamp Rat, but that's for no one else. B knew her before, and if the marshal comes to it by proxy, they'll cross that bridge when the time comes.
no subject
"And it's never better to leave it to someone else's idea of creativity."
no subject
"Or we can just go back ta not talkin' 'bout her." It's sounding like a increasingly good idea.
Point made, Sweeney crosses around the table, focusing a little longer than he needs to to set a ball neatly at the mouth of a fresh pocket, waiting to be tapped in by another ball.
no subject
He found his shot and took it, but sank another of Red's balls as well, and sucked his teeth in a short sound.
"S'a decent game."
no subject
"As fer the rest, I got no doubt that if she came ta love me, she won't give a shit 'bout what's wrong with me." Another easy answer.
"Just can't start ta know 'til the table's cleared." Which it isn't. Far from it. Sweeney leans in and nestles another ball at the lip of a pocket.
"Sometimes it ain't 'bout Winnin'. Sometimes it's 'bout Not Losin'."
no subject
"But if she came to love you, she'd hav'ta give a shit about what's wrong with you. That's what it's all about. Sometimes taking the shot is worth the risk, that's all I'm sayin'. But I can appreciate wantin' that table cleared."
A shot and a miss; the cue ball hit a stripe, but nothing sank.
"Everything's easier when business is taken care of. It's movement, progression. That's a good thing." Red had goals - a path of action even if he wasn't sure how to get to the first goalpost. That was a big step.
no subject
"Otherwise she wouldn't have fuckin' stayed."
Sweeney forces himself to take a slow breath before lining up his shot, ready to sink a fucking ball for a change.
"Just has a hard line 'bout Inmates."
no subject
"Hard spot." He chews the inside of his cheek, an idea coming to mind, one that was likely bad to be voiced. Sweeney didn't like the soft kumbaya shit.
"You've been around forever, Red. You'll find it again. Statistically, even." To take the heart out of it. "Even if it's gettin' back to her.... Sink that ball so I can shoot, huh? Lemme ask you somethin' different - You got a favorite holiday that ain't your own? Anythin' you enjoy?"
He felt like he was trying to bend around a bullet.
no subject
But Sweeney finds he doesn't have to delve hard into that argument. The new path is easier, though the pain isn't much less.
"Samhain." He shrugs it off as casually as he's able.
"Faerie holiday."
And the first they had shared together. The one it was her duty to plan (since they traded off).
The first he'd spent without her.
no subject
He takes another breath and sidles up to the table, shifting his cue stick to take another shot. He sunk a ball but sunk one of Sweeney's too. He swore under his breath.
"You sure you ain't got your luck on you?"
no subject
"Folk here do Halloween," he concedes, resigned to the situation. It's almost better that way, her not being here. He can resent the holiday and not her absence.
"Bible folk hate that shit too, so I'm guessin' that's close 'nough." There's enough jest to imply that sometimes pissing people off is its own reward. Hence his cassock at Dorian's party.
Sweeney studies the table, looking for how best to clean things up.
no subject
"I never much cared for Halloween, but that's because I spend them on cases, dealin' with the public at their loosest and loudest and drunkest. Lotta fires, proverbial and otherwise to deal with. Always crazier on Halloween. I like the forth of July but that's only because I can get somethin' grilled and a cold beer. Offensively American, I know but.."
He shrugs a little. He'd lived the Suburban life and seen it's tasty, grilled meat perks. There was often hottubs, or swimming. No one could blame him.
no subject
"You an' fuckin' Steve." Sweeney refocuses his attention on the marshal.
"Ya know it's his fuckin' birthday? No wonder he is what he is. Folk Believin' him too hard fer him ta be anythin' else."
Not that it makes the White Hat vibe more palatable, but he understands the feeling of being made into something without your consent.
no subject
"What do you mean 'he is what he is'? What is he?" What did Raylan miss?
no subject
"The Whitest of Hats. A force fer good, the Boy Scout ideal. Helping hands an' sweet smiles an' kissin' babies. Wholesome as apple pie at a county fair, reeks of walkin' girls home without so much as a goodnight kiss on the cheek. Practically bleeds red, white, an' blue at the dawn of the Atomic Age."
Sweeney doesn't fault Steve; that's the point. But it doesn't make the qualities more appealing.
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)