tinstar | Slingin' from the hip, never the heart.

Athena wasn't sure how she expected going home to feel. Would it hurt? Would it be dizzying, scary? Or would she just take a step and find herself waking up somewhere familiar? She really hoped it would be somewhere familiar and not some random East Coast beach or something.

She and Jeff were in the middle of the pack when it came to the timing of exits. It had only seemed right that the people who came first got to leave first. Saying goodbye was a wrench, in a few cases in particular, but it wasn't the first time she'd had to walk away from people she loved for the sake of someplace different. Someplace better. And home really, really would be better than Mathias.

Athena took a deep breath, hoisting her backpack a little more firmly onto her back and flashing Jeff a smile--

Then they were in it. Or rather, there was a moment of nothing, and then she stumbled forward onto her knees against a marble floor. The building fairly roared with noise after the quiet of Mathias, and Athena clapped her hands over her ears, swearing under her breath as she tried to orient herself. A suited man reached down to help her up and she scrambled back and to her feet, backing away fast enough that she rammed a woman in business clothes.

"I'm fi-- shit, sorry, um--" She turned in a quick circle, struggling to get a grip on where she was. Definitely not somewhere familiar.

"You all right, miss?" The suited man peered at her in concern, speaking with a distinctly familiar twang.

"Oh fuck no," Athena whispered, pushing past him and running for the nearest directory.

Courthouse. She was in a Lexington courthouse. One with a Marshals office. Too damn big of a coincidence. Athena tried to keep her shit together, forcing herself not to panic. Not yet. She pushed her way onto the elevator, practically dancing from foot to foot as it crawled up to the right floor. She shoved her way out with equal disregard for manners, stopping short at the clear doors bearing the Marshals' logo.

It's Raylan. She could see him from where she was standing, his hat set to one side, focusing on paperwork at his desk. For a second Athena considered just turning around and walking away. He didn't deserve to have this shitstorm dropped into his lap. He didn't owe her anything. If anything, she owed him. Owed him enough to let him have a life without stepping into the middle of it and fucking things up for him even worse than she did for her aunt.

Except she couldn't do it. She couldn't just leave. The thought terrified her, for more reasons than she could get her head around. God, had she always been so fucking selfish?

She knew the answer was yes.

Athena shoved her way through the front doors of the Lexington Courthouse Marshals Office, stopping short half-way to Raylan's desk. What exactly was she supposed to say?

She was clean, at least. Showered. But her clothes were ill-fitting nineties hand-me-downs from some disappeared boy's closet, and her backpack showed all the abuse of its time in the middle of nowhere. And she was just standing there.

Give it another minute, and the eyes of everyone in the office would be on her anyway.

It had been three months since Raylan had woke back up in Harlan, in his shitty motel room that smelled of boot and faintly of Jim beam and gun oil - You know how sad that sounds, that room, someone had said to him at it's description. He had not been at all well, and it had taken 3 weeks before he started to realign. The nightmares ebbed off, the affects of drinking too much moonshine on a regular basis eased, letting him maintain the weight that he had lost in Mathis and magically regained when waking up here.

Physically, he was fine. No scars on his face and body, despite the fact that his fingers felt the ghosts of them when he touched his face, but mentally, Raylan was broken. Even after 3 weeks, he was still a little shaky. Art had sensed Something was Wrong when Raylan threatened to leave if he couldn't have his own leave but so far, no one else in the office had dared asked him what the hell had happened.

Another 3 weeks passed before Raylan appeared in the office like he had never left, tucking everything under the hood, in spite of the emptiness that had settled in him. He was back in reality; he knew who he was and he could sort out there from here. He had his guns. And he was all alone again. Tim remembered nothing, staring at him with that narrowed eyed suspicion as Raylan had danced around his questions, his hints and his searches for Malcolm had been all in vain. So it was back to work. Another pyre of things he couldn't resolve and couldn't talk about.

Same place he'd been in when he'd left but worse. It was all so much worse.

Another extra month hadn't made it much better but Raylan was working on it, night after night, drink after drink.

Today was a Tuesday. He'd looked on his calender not five minutes before the doors to the office opened violently and the file in his hand slowly lowered to his desk as Athena charged over and stood before him like she was just there. Like she wasn't some hallucination.

But this was The Office. Raylan glanced around, at Rachel and Tim before standing up. "Athena."

There was no hesitation in pushing up from and moving around his desk, one hand settling on the outside of her shoulder as he guided her into the conference room across from his desk with a soft "Come with me."

Once inside the room, Raylan shut the door and pulled the blinds, like he was worried she wouldn't be there when he turned around from his task. But there was no use in waiting, in torturing himself with the what ifs and Raylan turned.

"Please tell me I'm not havin' some kinda flash back hallucination." It was a roll of the dice, if she understood what that meant or if he just made himself to look like the weirdest fucking adult in the office. But he had to know, right out of the gate. Did she remember him or did he have to compartmentalize?

For a second she stares at him some more. Unsteady and scared and still with a burn on her ankle and where is Jeff, where are Raylan's scars, what is going on but he knows her.

He knows her. Right now that's something she can hang on to. Figuratively speaking.

Literally speaking, she cannonballs into a hug, presses her faces against his chest, and bursts into tears.

It was the best kind of feeling, to have the air slightly knocked out of him again by one of her hugs and Raylan wrapped around her with a rough sound. It was her. This weird, fantastic Bard Child that he had gotten attached to, that he had lost and fretted about in the quiet dark of the night.

"It's okay," he whispered at the vibration of her shoulders and the sound of sobbing that came up with it. No goddamnit, his throat wasn't tightening up, his eyes weren't pricking with a wetness that he fought and failed to restrain as he hugged her tight.

"I was so goddamned worried about you, girl." He pulled her back by the shoulders so he could look her in the eye. "Where did you come from? How'd you get here?"

She lifts her fingers to touch the spot where his scars were, very quickly descending into some kind of shellshock at the strangeness of all of this. How unreasonable it all is.

"I don't know," she whispers. "I was in the schoolhouse, after the fire, and then... Nothing. And then here. I was with Jeff but he didn't show up with me. Not in the same place anyway, I don't know if he's actually here somewhere, fuck what if he is and he has no clue what's going on and he's just fucking out there without--fuck."

She half-turns toward the conference room door, but she can't do it. She can't pull away from Raylan's grip on her shoulders, not right now. She looks back at him, eyes filling again.

"My ankle hurts," she says, voice tiny.

"I know," he muttered in awe at the touch on his face; he knew what it was, a question in a touch, a verification of the proof being wiped away, leaving only what they knew had happened in their minds. He couldn't believe it. How was she standing here?

His brow pinched, head shaking a little bit at her timeline, obviously confused. Letting out a breath, he nodded, a strange half circular motion, stuck between a nod and a shake of his head.

"I was there for another month." He shook his head again, blinking away tears as he turned his head and glanced down before reaching over and pulling out a chair. "C'mon, sit down. Lemme see."

The rest of his work day was forfeit. Nothing mattered more than figuring this out and tending to what Athena needed. If she was fresh from that Place.. It had taken him weeks to reconstruct even a normal looking front. She was going to need the same.

She does as she's told without argument or sarcasm, a kind of weird numbness starting to take hold. Athena sits and tugs up the pant leg over the ankle in question. There's a rough bandage on it--very rough--soaked through in a couple of places with fluids. She grimaces a little when she looks at it.

"It wasn't that bad so I kind of... lied and said I would take care of it. Other people needed help more."

She still has that same tiny voice, the one that says she's three steps from breakdown. Or another breakdown, really. "I mean I sort of took care of it?"

Edited 2021-09-13 02:43 (UTC)

"We gotta get you to a hospital," he declared, looking up at her from under his eyebrows. "I'm goin' with you."

If Athena thought she was going to easily escape the Marshal once she'd made it into his line of sight, she was deeply mistaken. Raylan was going to turn into an annoyance after too long. But for right now, they were both just happy to see each other. He had so many questions about Jeff but none that she could apparently answer; that wasn't a problem. He'd get the toadies on it.

"We're not there anymore, Athena. We don't need to compromise anymore. C'mon."

If she didn't stop him, he'd urge her to her feet and back out the conference room doors with a commanding tone at Tim as he shortly explained, "Cover for me, will ya? Somethin's come up."

Tim and his stoic face watched them head towards the door with a sarcastic flit of his fingers. "Sir yes Sir," came the dry reply to follow them out of the office doors and to the elevator where Raylan pushed the down button several more times than was necessary.

"Wait til we get in the car," he said quietly with a glance to the side. He didn't trust anyone here and it showed.

Tim, that had been Tim, but he hadn’t…

She’s overwhelmed, hanging on to Raylan’s hand like a lifeline and not even cognizant of the fact she’s doing it. Athena nods silently at the command, not sure what to say even if she could.

Even if…

She drew in a sharp breath, squeezing his hand tighter. She could feel it. She could feel it, the pure song of the Gift moving around them. She closed eyes tight against more tears and stepped onto the elevator wordlessly, her other hand coming up to grab his sleeve on his forearm, like the held hand isn’t enough.

Edited 2021-09-13 11:08 (UTC)

Once in, Raylan hit the ground floor button as aggressively as he had the down button, almost glaring the door into closing so he could drop his eyes back down onto the young woman clinging to him like he was a lift-raft. It was foolish and maybe short sighted, but a passing thought wasn't even cast about for her Gift - Now was not the time for Music. First things first.

"It's okay," he murmured. "We're gonna get you taken care of, don't you worry."

Once the elevator doors opened, Raylan continued to lead her right through the side Marshal's Entrance and towards his Crown Vic. Opening up the passenger side of the door, Raylan sat her down again and squatted down so that she didn't have to let his hand go just yet. So that he didn't have to let go yet.

"I can't say I understand how any of this works, or how you're here after me. Might be a Time Line thing. I'm still waitin' for Tim to wake up." God it was good to see her. Even if he knew this wasn't her place. This wasn't even her world. It was only then that Raylan thought about her Gift. "Your ankle aside, is.. everythin' else in place?"

It’s a stupid thing to do. Such a stupid thing to do in a world that apparently doesn’t have anything like this, but she’s missed it so, so much.

Athena hums a soft note and light gathers between them, a little multicolored glow that fades when she lets the note go.

Well, she’s crying again. But this time it’s not because everything is terrible. “It’s back,” she whispers. “It feels right again.”

If asked, he would have said it was the furthest from stupid. He didn't even have a Gift but getting his hands back on his guns felt like some part of him had been returned to his own care. What that said about him was up for discussion.

He smiled softly at the light, forever amazed, but he had to glance around to make sure no one was staring at them too hard.

"Back at full power, eh Songbird?" Raylan squeezes their hands and stands up. "I'm sure I don't need to tell you this, but since we don't have anythin' like the Gift here, just don't go advertising what you are. I might work for the government, but that doesn't mean I trust them."

Squeezing her hand again, Raylan let go and closed the door, walking around the back of his car to slide into the drivers seat and turn the engine over. "We tell the hospital that you're my niece. You fell into a bonfire while.. I dunno, tryin' to jump over it. Dead parents and you're spendin' the summer down here in the country to recover. It'll work enough for the paperwork."

Why yes, he was already planning how they were going to get around each upcoming roadblock, and ruthlessly so.

Hope it's okay for him to lie to other People Athena because he was going to, but all in the name of keeping her safe.

She's not going to protest the lying in this case. She's lied for survival plenty of times. As long as he doesn't do it to her, she doesn't care one bit.

Athena stares out the window, quiet, the shock of it really starting to hit now. It's a city. There are people. So many people. Birds, a rat climbing a dumpster, it's bright and alive and she has to look away and press the heels over her palms against her eyes to try and recover from the brightness.

"It's so loud," she whispers, then shivers. How could she have gotten used to that place? Its hideous quiet, the lack of anything alive but her fellow prisoners? It makes her feel queasy and confused. "Fuck, how can it be so loud?"

Athena shifts to hugging herself, even though she's not cold. Now she's staring out the front window, eyes huge, voice still quiet. "How long have you been out?"

The only saving grace here was that Lexington didn't have that many buildings that were more than 5 stories, a handful in what loosely constituted 'downtown', which even reached on the skyline for faint echo of any other large City. But that didn't make it any quieter.

Raylan glanced over as she spoke, brow furrowed as his attentive eyes glanced back and forth between her and the road. He remembered that feeling, the need to get used to the sound of life. Yeah, he was gonna take her out to Arlo's after he made sure she was physically well.

"There'll be plenty of silence once we get outta Lexington." He let a beat pass. "Three months." His hands flexed and twisted a little on his steering wheel. "And I'm still not fully right if I'm honest."

He glanced over again. "You got any idea why Mathis dropped you here?" He was gonna put out a net for Jeff, regardless of her answer. Just because he hadn't arrived when she did, didn't mean he wasn't here. If he'd been recollecting pieces of his life, Athena was gonna be part of that.

She shook her head.

"No fucking clue," she whispers. "None of this shit makes any sense."

Athena looks his way, her gaze somewhere between haunted and affronted. "First off it's total bullshit that you got all healed up and my ankle's still fucked. But Mathias is a bitch."

He sucked his teeth softly and nodded, turning them down another street and towards the Hospital that now loomed in front of them.

"She was gonna screw us all in one way or another on the way out. At least you remember me. That godforsaken town." His jaw worked softly as he pulled them into a spot and threw it into park. It chewed at him in the dark, all that he had lost.

"But we're gonna get you fixed up, buy you the biggest lunch your stomach can handle, and you're comin' out to Harlan with me, least until we can confirm if any of your people are here too. It's quieter out there and no one's within a mile 'a Arlo's house."

She shivers at the thought of ending up here and not knowing him or remembering. Just being lost, and having a stranger who looks like Jeff telling her she landed in another world.

Lunch. "Oh my god, fast food exists again."

She climbs out of the car along with him, resisting the urge to take his hand again, barely. "Arlo's house? Isn't he... like... there?"

All things considered, she would prefer not to meet... that guy.

It was hell. Lonely, Jim Beam soaked hell.

"We'll get whatever you want," he promised as he guided her in with a hand set to hover over her shoulder, his eyes ever sweeping on the horizon for someone he might need to fend off. "But the restaurants here are better than that crap food."

It would only take a protest for him to cave and get her whatever fast food struck her fancy. She deserved days of it after all that surviving. Once Raylan's appetite had come back in full force, he was sure he'd cleared out a few restaurants over a few days.

"No," Raylan assured with no emotion as they came up to the Nurse's station. "He's in Tramble Penitentiary." Lifting his chin at the nurse there, he started to explain what they were looking for. His niece got a little too rambunctious at a barbeque, fell into fire pit and got herself a little banged up. Collecting the paperwork, Raylan then led Athena over to sit down.

"Yer gonna havte help me with some of this," he said under his breath and out the side of his mouth.

Athena breathes out a slightly hysterical laugh, trying to focus on Raylan and the paperwork in spite of the thunder of people around them.

It doesn't take long to get a bed, once one of the nurses sees the bandage she improvised. The woman glares at Raylan for a moment until Athena snaps, "Hey, I didn't fucking tell him about it, okay?"

Even odds as to whether its the aggressiveness or the swearing that startles her more.

Behind the privacy curtain, perched on the edge of the exam bed, Athena grips the sheets and fixes wide eyes on Raylan again. "What about your work? Are they going to be okay with you just. Fucking off to Harlan for a week?"

She's not protesting the plan or the location, really. A little quiet, a little time to sort through her own head--its all she could ask for at the moment.

Simple easy things to help bring her focus back down and Raylan adjusted dates where necessary so it made more sense with a sweet of the eyes. He was glad they didn't have to wait long and was touched when Athena let him come back, regardless of if she was asked.

Raylan was happy to take the Nurse's blame, shoulders already lifting up in an uneven shrug with a lift of his hand, but Athena's snap has his eyes darting over to her with a proud curl of his smile. People didn't tend to stick up for him so boldly, not civvies, not people he didn't work with. So she was just as vicious with other people as she had been before, good. Meant her spirit wasn't broken. Meant she still loved him as he loved her. Even if those words in particular never got room to breathe again.

But the nurse accepted and left and Raylan curled his eyebrows back over to Athena.

"Art has been watchin' me like I'm about to shoot a puppy in the parking lot or somethin'. I've only been back a short time. I tell him I need the time-" Raylan nodded. "He'll give it to me. Makin' sure that you've got a few secure days is more important and frankly, I been doin' this for twenty years and I'm forced to take vacation. Trust me," he said, face curling around his smile. "Art'll be happy to get some of that reserved off time off my ticket."

She nods slowly. It made sense. It made sense that anyone who knew him would be worried. She can't imagine it's been anything like easy, being back. Just... back. Without even Tim seeming to know anything.

Athena holds back, briefly, still the embarrassed teenager, but finally holds out her hand, clearly wanting him to take it.

"I'm sorry," she says softly. "That you've got all this... shit to deal with now on top of handling like. The world."

Her hand got a glance before he unashamedly slipped his left into her hand. She wasn't his daughter but Raylan couldn't help but feel like this was a crash course, a semi dry run for the first time Willa broke something or stepped on a nail. He wasn't going to tell her to do this alone, not with what he knew of her history.

"The world," he started with a lift of his eyebrows, "Is somethin' I can handle. Bein' the only one rememberin' that.." His jaw worked as he found the right word for it- "Hell is worse. Least I ain't gotta worry about if you're in one piece or not; you're already taking stuff off my plate."

But the Doctor was pulling the curtain aside, Nurse in tow to give Raylan a generally disapproving look. It read as 'I see you're uneducated, no sense, hillbilly trash.' Raylan was utterly unbothered and lifted his eyebrows at the Doctor as he started to look at Athena.

Athena squeezes his hand a little tighter as the doctor peels back the bandage, teeth gritted, trying not to show that it hurts. Her ankle isn't pretty. It's rough, angry pink all around, with a couple places that look almost red. Blisters--large ones, several broken--mark her here and there. It's where the fluids soaking her bandage came from.

The doctor makes a small noise that's somewhere between sympathy and aggravation. "You're very lucky your uncle caught you hiding this. You're well on your way to an ugly infection."

Raylan stands up as the doc peels the bandage away, keen to get his own eye on it so he can track it as she heals up. He didn't let how bad it look transfer onto his face; he could tell she was in pain and scared.

He couldn't help himself. "The whole lotta us were havin' a lotta fun and she's a bit stubborn. This might impress how important it is to not," he said, glancing over to Athena with a warm smile and a wink before looking back. "How bad is it? Think she'll need anythin' more than antibiotics and some cream under bandages or somethin'?"

I.E. What supplies was he going to be stocking up on?

She smiles a little, when Raylan winks at her, but she doesn't let go of his hand.

"We'll get her a tetanus shot, a prescription for some antibiotics and an antibiotic cream. Normal lotions will increase the likelihood of infection, now that those blisters are broken. You'll want gauze bandages and medical tape to hold them in place, and the bandages should be changed twice a day, the burn cleaned and the antibacterial re-applied. The bandages need to be loose, but keep things covered. The nurse will show you how it should be done."

The doctor rattles it all off so quickly that Athena is left staring a little bit. "How do you just know all that shit?"

He raises an eyebrow, disapproving in the face of the curse. "That is what medical school is for."

through the (wrong) looking glass

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