Raylan couldn't stop himself, hips thrusting up to meet Malcolm and sink himself as deep into the man rode him, a roughly half growled note of pleasure escaping him as Malcolm clenched around him. In the heat of everything, the warmth on his lower stomach was just more arousing and Raylan reached up with one hand to draw Malcolm down into a kiss while the other found his hips, helping encourage the rythem and movement.
Breaking the kiss with another rough sound, Raylan could only mutter a half given warning before he tensed and unloaded into him, body shuddering as he curled into Malcolm as much as he could. There was a passing concern that he shouldn't have came where he did, but the white rolling over his vision didn't leave much room for anything other than bliss. His hips jutted again a few times, like Raylan's body desperately wanted more, wanted to continue despite the exhausted half drunkenness of its host, before he relaxed into the bed a little with a careful look into Malcolm's face.
Malcolm’s face was kiss bruised and his expression was a bit dazed, but also warm and hopefully Raylan would forgive him for looking a little smitten.
He leaned over and gave him one more kiss, relatively chaste but lingering, then pushed himself up off of the marshal, gesturing for him to stay put as Malcolm went to the closet and rummaged around for a towel, wiping himself off with one end before stepping over to clean Raylan up with the other.
“Are you... okay?”
Okay with it or... was Malcolm okay or... he wasn’t even sure exactly what he was asking as he tossed the towel into the corner to be washed later, then crawled back onto the bed to curl up against Raylan’s side.
Raylan's world was still spinning as he was kissed again and there was no attempts to get up. His legs were weak and his heartbeat was pounding in his ears. There was a slight half open mouth attempt at protest but he sank back into the sheets with a breath.
One hand lifted along with his head in surprise at the clean up, but he let Malcolm do it, easily welcoming him back into his arms, one hand wrapping around Malcolm's shoulder while his other settled on Malcolm's forearm with a quiet hum.
"I'm.. perfect," he assured softly. "Are.. are you?" He asked, shifting his head enough to look down at him. Who would have thought that him, Raylan Givens would ever be here and happy about it. He couldn't help but wonder if he'd been okay or not but that.. wasn't a question easily asked.
The question brought the dreamy, smitten smile back for a moment, until he worried about what it looked like and he swallowed it down a bit, looking up to meet Raylan's gaze.
"I'm great," he said honestly. "I'm... really good."
It had been months, even before he arrived in Mathias.
He pressed a kiss to Raylan's shoulder.
"Do you... I mean, it's probably not safe for you to stay up here, huh?"
"Good," he replied, head falling back into the pillows with a soft exhale with the kiss, fully prepared to sink into the feeling of comfort and maybe explain himself a little bit.
Oh. Of course. Maybe time for him to go already.
"Kickin' me out already?" he huffed with a fully convincing tone of levity. "It's definitely not safe for either of us to not be wearin' pants," he admitted, letting go of Malcolm and gently pushing up until he was freed and able to turn and sit on the edge of the bed, already kicking himself as he ran a hand through his hair. "But if Doc and I can contain you without restraints, I'm sure I could handle containin' you with them. Less you'd.. rather not risk it." He had been drinking.
"No, no, no..." slipped out with his breath as soon as Raylan moved away from him. When Raylan reached the edge of the bed with 'Less you'd not risk it' he half sat up. "I mean. I didn't. Mean. Yet. At all. But. I..." He blinked, his eyes a little wide. Get it together, Malcolm.
God, he felt like he was getting ready to have 'SUCKER' slapped on his forehead like a giant sign as he stilled, head turning enough to look over his shoulder at what he could see of the silhouette behind him. But 'Don't go, come back' weren't powerless words and damn, he wanted to. Naked as the day they were born, skin and heat on skin and heat.
After a long moment, he turned his head back and it was with much more deliberate movement that he turned back into bed, reaching down for the sheet to pull up over them as he settled down on his side to face Malcolm.
"... you sure?" There was a lot in that question, a lot of points it covered, but Raylan was here, hesitantly.
When Raylan moved back into the bed, Malcolm let out a visibly shaky breath, taking a couple more fortifying ones to stave off the edges of the panic attack he could feel creeping through him.
He nodded at Raylan’s question, then realized he was still halfway to sitting up and slid back down almost awkwardly.
“I. I was going to ask you to stay up here. All night. But it felt like it wasn’t fair to ask you that, when it’s dangerous. So I tried to make it... less pressuring. But. I reworded it badly. But.” He pressed his hand to his chest and tried another deep breath. “I didn’t... I don’t want you to leave. Please stay.”
He bit his lip, watching Raylan with undisguised longing, still trying to breath around the knot of panic in his core. He felt like he’d give anything in that moment to go back to being held so easily, like he had been a moment ago.
Too intense.
He was worried about ruining everything that came before that misunderstanding with.... all this. All his too big feelings. They’d put people off before. He was worried about ruining any chance that a night like this could happen again.
It was a little frightening, exhilarating - Raylan couldn't decide - that Malcolm was as wound as he was. Dangerous spot he'd gotten himself in, emotionally speaking. He'd already crossed the line; drawing back now or pretending it didn't happen or that it didn't mean anything would be more damaging than anything else.
He didn't want to damage Malcolm any more. He didn't want to make things worse for daring to want something. Whatever Malcolm was offering that wasn't cement.
Raylan's answer was a hand sliding around Malcolm's waist to gently urging him close again, their legs tangling together as Raylan leaned to kiss him with a gentle chasteness that deepened in intensity the longer their lips were together until it broke with a tilt of his head and a breath.
"I don't want to leave. Not just yet and not tonight. It's okay."
Without his medication, Malcolm spiralled fast and hard, but Raylan caught him when he could have run away the way most people ran away.
He couldn’t have blamed him if he’d run away.
Instead his grounding touch yielded an almost immediate easing of tension in Malcolm’s frame and the kiss both stirred his heart and brought some level back to his mind. At some point during it, his hand found its way to grasp Raylan’s shoulder and it stayed there for a moment before it slid to his chest as Malcolm curled back into him.
“I didn’t want to make things complicated,” he murmured. “I just didn’t want it to be over yet. It’s warm here.” He pressed a kiss to Raylan’s collarbone.
Part of him screamed that he should run. That he was laying himself into a trap that would effect him just as much as Winona had but here in Mathis, everything was different. Who was there to judge him or Malcolm for falling in the way they had, for needing a human connection that everyone else needed?
God help anyone who walked in right now though.
It warmed him more, the way that Malcolm melted into him and held onto him like he would save him from some of the storm. Maybe the misunderstanding hadn't fucked anything up. Raylan pressed a kiss into Malcolm's head, arm tightening around him.
"It doesn't have to be complicated. I don't want it to be. I want.." He took a deep breath in and out. "More than I should and less than you want, I think." A succinct way to say it, he thought. "I don't want complicated," he repeated, finding no other way to say it. "And that doesn't mean I just want sex, I don't, I just--" Didn't know what he wanted. "Want this."
Someone who gave a shit against him for a little while. A safe space to be, to relish in the slow exploration of this new and not so new side of himself and all the questions it brought.
Malcolm smiled, lifting his head a little so he could see Raylan's face.
His fingertips traced the line of Raylan's collarbone.
"I'm not going to... get jealous and possessive if that's a concern you have," Malcolm assured him. "I just didn't want you to leave here thinking I didn't want this and then... never offer it again."
Raylan's thumb brushed back and forth against a patch of Malcolm's back, eyes studying the shadowed angles of Malcolm's face below him.
"I don't know that I offered it. Or that you took anything." He quirked a smile. "I want you. Your company." Your care. "You being here. With me." It was an odd, undefined spot but he didn't care. So long as he got to keep doing this.
"I want this." Just in case Malcolm was worried about that. Don't be. He did want this. Everything that Malcolm had to offer.
He hummed into the last kiss and nodded. "Exactly like this. Kisses and all."
Raylan tilted his chin up and into the kisses, hand smoothing up Malcolm's back before breaking away to slide along Malcolm's jaw, turning his face up to Raylan's so he could steal another sweet kiss.
"I'm not goin' anywhere," he promised, letting Malcolm pull away first before he left the bed, hunting for where his boxers and jeans had ended up.
Malcolm pulled on his sweatpants, but left his t-shirt on the floor, crawling eagerly back into the bed, sliding a restraint on one wrist and then the other. They were attached to the headboard, unlike his restraints at home. They weren't likely to make Raylan uncomfortable. Hopefully they would stop Malcolm from breaking Raylan's nose in his sleep.
Once he'd gotten his boxers and jeans back on, Raylan found his shirt and dropped it on the side table. It would look better if he were wearing it, should someone come in, but Raylan didn't care. He had pants on, that's all that mattered. Crawling back in, Raylan pulled the blanket up an settled on his side, arm draping with an easy familiarity back over Malcolm's waist.
"Before you think to ask, no - I'm not gonna regret this in the morin'." Not unless he was given reason to and he didn't think Malcolm would do that. "Even if you pop me in the face," he elaborated with a soft pull of his smile.
That made an almost self-conscious laugh bubble out of Malcolm and he scooted closer, curling up there again, his near hand on Raylan's chest, even though the restraints made the angle a little weird and his other hand resting on the arm at his waist, because it could reach it.
"I'd rather not pop you in the face," he admitted, placing a little kiss on the tip of Raylan's nose. "I kind of like it the way it is."
"I've been told I wear a bruise well, if that makes you feel any better," he huffed, grinning foolishly at the kiss to his nose and the bubbly laugh he'd earned.
Malcolm had to kiss that grin. He had no choice. As he did so, his hand drifted up from Raylan's chest to touch his jaw with just the tips of his fingers and a rustle of the restraint.
If Malcolm hadn't, Raylan fully had growing plans of his own and Raylan hummed a little note as he turned into it. When it broke, he kept his face close and full of warm mirth. "I think you're biased," he whispered, keeping this part of the conversation just for them, even if someone was listening in. It felt like it deserved that privacy.
“It is a subjective opinion, I suppose,” Malcolm agreed just as softly, punctuating it with another gentle kiss before continuing, “but I feel it has a firm basis in fact-based evidence.”
"Science says you have to explore all possibilities," he murmured back. "Or are we abandoning the scientific method out here," he teased, closing the space for another kiss. Why yes, he was going to soak in this like the touch starved man he was, relishing every soft feeling and bit of warmth he could find while it was there.
"We should probably get some sleep," he continued as the kiss broke. "Before dawn starts creepin' up on us. Long day ahead." The town hall, to say nothing of all the things Raylan didn't know they were going to have to face.
He should have lingered here longer and would have, had he known.
With a deep and satisfied breath, Raylan shifted down and snuggled in as far as he could with the restraints, them facing each other and his elbow and all. He could definitely handle more experiments.
Wrapping his free arm around Malcolm, he hummed his agreement. "I'm hopin' he'll go without too much trouble, but if we gotta drag him kickin' and screamin', we will. He doesn't even have to say anythin' though he oughta." He sighed softly, in that same content sleepy way. "A problem for tomorrow though, hmm?"
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Breaking the kiss with another rough sound, Raylan could only mutter a half given warning before he tensed and unloaded into him, body shuddering as he curled into Malcolm as much as he could. There was a passing concern that he shouldn't have came where he did, but the white rolling over his vision didn't leave much room for anything other than bliss. His hips jutted again a few times, like Raylan's body desperately wanted more, wanted to continue despite the exhausted half drunkenness of its host, before he relaxed into the bed a little with a careful look into Malcolm's face.
no subject
He leaned over and gave him one more kiss, relatively chaste but lingering, then pushed himself up off of the marshal, gesturing for him to stay put as Malcolm went to the closet and rummaged around for a towel, wiping himself off with one end before stepping over to clean Raylan up with the other.
“Are you... okay?”
Okay with it or... was Malcolm okay or... he wasn’t even sure exactly what he was asking as he tossed the towel into the corner to be washed later, then crawled back onto the bed to curl up against Raylan’s side.
no subject
One hand lifted along with his head in surprise at the clean up, but he let Malcolm do it, easily welcoming him back into his arms, one hand wrapping around Malcolm's shoulder while his other settled on Malcolm's forearm with a quiet hum.
"I'm.. perfect," he assured softly. "Are.. are you?" He asked, shifting his head enough to look down at him. Who would have thought that him, Raylan Givens would ever be here and happy about it. He couldn't help but wonder if he'd been okay or not but that.. wasn't a question easily asked.
no subject
"I'm great," he said honestly. "I'm... really good."
It had been months, even before he arrived in Mathias.
He pressed a kiss to Raylan's shoulder.
"Do you... I mean, it's probably not safe for you to stay up here, huh?"
no subject
Oh. Of course. Maybe time for him to go already.
"Kickin' me out already?" he huffed with a fully convincing tone of levity. "It's definitely not safe for either of us to not be wearin' pants," he admitted, letting go of Malcolm and gently pushing up until he was freed and able to turn and sit on the edge of the bed, already kicking himself as he ran a hand through his hair. "But if Doc and I can contain you without restraints, I'm sure I could handle containin' you with them. Less you'd.. rather not risk it." He had been drinking.
no subject
"Don't go," he said quietly. "Come back."
A beat.
"For a bit."
Another beat.
"Unless... you don't want to."
Yet another beat.
"Pants can wait; I'm not. Sleepy."
no subject
After a long moment, he turned his head back and it was with much more deliberate movement that he turned back into bed, reaching down for the sheet to pull up over them as he settled down on his side to face Malcolm.
"... you sure?" There was a lot in that question, a lot of points it covered, but Raylan was here, hesitantly.
no subject
He nodded at Raylan’s question, then realized he was still halfway to sitting up and slid back down almost awkwardly.
“I. I was going to ask you to stay up here. All night. But it felt like it wasn’t fair to ask you that, when it’s dangerous. So I tried to make it... less pressuring. But. I reworded it badly. But.” He pressed his hand to his chest and tried another deep breath. “I didn’t... I don’t want you to leave. Please stay.”
He bit his lip, watching Raylan with undisguised longing, still trying to breath around the knot of panic in his core. He felt like he’d give anything in that moment to go back to being held so easily, like he had been a moment ago.
Too intense.
He was worried about ruining everything that came before that misunderstanding with.... all this. All his too big feelings. They’d put people off before. He was worried about ruining any chance that a night like this could happen again.
no subject
He didn't want to damage Malcolm any more. He didn't want to make things worse for daring to want something. Whatever Malcolm was offering that wasn't cement.
Raylan's answer was a hand sliding around Malcolm's waist to gently urging him close again, their legs tangling together as Raylan leaned to kiss him with a gentle chasteness that deepened in intensity the longer their lips were together until it broke with a tilt of his head and a breath.
"I don't want to leave. Not just yet and not tonight. It's okay."
no subject
He couldn’t have blamed him if he’d run away.
Instead his grounding touch yielded an almost immediate easing of tension in Malcolm’s frame and the kiss both stirred his heart and brought some level back to his mind. At some point during it, his hand found its way to grasp Raylan’s shoulder and it stayed there for a moment before it slid to his chest as Malcolm curled back into him.
“I didn’t want to make things complicated,” he murmured. “I just didn’t want it to be over yet. It’s warm here.” He pressed a kiss to Raylan’s collarbone.
no subject
God help anyone who walked in right now though.
It warmed him more, the way that Malcolm melted into him and held onto him like he would save him from some of the storm. Maybe the misunderstanding hadn't fucked anything up. Raylan pressed a kiss into Malcolm's head, arm tightening around him.
"It doesn't have to be complicated. I don't want it to be. I want.." He took a deep breath in and out. "More than I should and less than you want, I think." A succinct way to say it, he thought. "I don't want complicated," he repeated, finding no other way to say it. "And that doesn't mean I just want sex, I don't, I just--" Didn't know what he wanted. "Want this."
Someone who gave a shit against him for a little while. A safe space to be, to relish in the slow exploration of this new and not so new side of himself and all the questions it brought.
no subject
His fingertips traced the line of Raylan's collarbone.
"I'm not going to... get jealous and possessive if that's a concern you have," Malcolm assured him. "I just didn't want you to leave here thinking I didn't want this and then... never offer it again."
no subject
"I don't know that I offered it. Or that you took anything." He quirked a smile. "I want you. Your company." Your care. "You being here. With me." It was an odd, undefined spot but he didn't care. So long as he got to keep doing this.
"I want this." Just in case Malcolm was worried about that. Don't be. He did want this. Everything that Malcolm had to offer.
no subject
"So... if we put pants on, we can come straight back here like this?"
His body was still a flight risk but he was not done basking in Raylan's warmth like the happiest lizard in the world.
He brushed his nose along the side of Raylan's jaw, then set a couple of kisses along it.
no subject
Raylan tilted his chin up and into the kisses, hand smoothing up Malcolm's back before breaking away to slide along Malcolm's jaw, turning his face up to Raylan's so he could steal another sweet kiss.
"I'm not goin' anywhere," he promised, letting Malcolm pull away first before he left the bed, hunting for where his boxers and jeans had ended up.
no subject
no subject
"Before you think to ask, no - I'm not gonna regret this in the morin'." Not unless he was given reason to and he didn't think Malcolm would do that. "Even if you pop me in the face," he elaborated with a soft pull of his smile.
no subject
"I'd rather not pop you in the face," he admitted, placing a little kiss on the tip of Raylan's nose. "I kind of like it the way it is."
no subject
"You might like it better that way, who knows."
no subject
"No, it's already perfect," he murmured.
no subject
no subject
no subject
"We should probably get some sleep," he continued as the kiss broke. "Before dawn starts creepin' up on us. Long day ahead." The town hall, to say nothing of all the things Raylan didn't know they were going to have to face.
He should have lingered here longer and would have, had he known.
no subject
At Raylan’s suggestion, he nodded, giving him one more gentle but lingering kiss before curling up against him.
“Sleep is important,” he agreed softly. “It might take all our combined strength to drag Doc to the meeting.”
no subject
Wrapping his free arm around Malcolm, he hummed his agreement. "I'm hopin' he'll go without too much trouble, but if we gotta drag him kickin' and screamin', we will. He doesn't even have to say anythin' though he oughta." He sighed softly, in that same content sleepy way. "A problem for tomorrow though, hmm?"
(no subject)
/end