Malcolm x Raylan: Cowboy Surprise

Art was suspicious right off the bat when Raylan took a week off with the express note that his phone would be Out Of Order til the next Monday, but the Chief Marshal wasn't going to look gift horses in the mouth. Not when it suggested he'd have a few days of peace, until Raylan caved to turning his phone back on again. Still, he watched the younger Marshal walk out of the office and promised himself to check into the state of Harlan within 3 days to make sure that the place wasn't on fire. The smoke would reach him before he called, he was sure.
But Art didn't have much to worry about - Raylan had no plans on staying in the state for his vacation, beyond one day spent closing up Arlo's and securing it the best way he could before getting on a plane to New York City. He wanted to surprise Malcolm - it'd been near two months since they'd last seen each other and frankly, Raylan was tired of missing him. They'd called and texted, stayed in a fairly consistent, if odd houred, touch but it wasn't the same.
Once he landed, Raylan rented a car and navigated his way towards Malcolm's apartment, stopping to grab a bouquet of flowers. It was.. Extra, but Raylan didn't want to show up empty handed, just in case. Thirty minutes later, Malcolm's door buzzer was being hit, like Raylan was here to deliver something. Well, he was, but that was half the fun.

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"It's not. Messed up a couple of cases by sleepin' with a key witness. I let a Chicago thug get murdered in his limo because he threatened Winona. Art knows about that too, but we haven't talked about it. I shoot more people than I save. I've been investigated enough times that I'm sure I've got half a drawer on me alone. I wouldn't call it my bullshit, but he's entitled to his opinion on it."
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"You could check my file, but I stopped keepin' count." He hadn't stopped keeping count.
"Let's finish this shit and go get some food, huh?" he asked with a look back down to his papers.
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"Raylan, when you put a bad guy down, how many innocent people do you save each time? How much suffering do you prevent? You only shoot people who earn it with the threat of inflicting suffering on someone else. On you or on others or both." Malcolm needed him to understand the difference between what he did and murder. He was nothing like Martin Whitly. "I learned really early on that the lives saved by stopping a killer are tangible things, not... nice bedtime stories. They're lives. Real lives."
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He glanced around the conference room, noting Art in his office and the others at their desks outside through the windows, flexing his hand open and closed on his knee under the table out of habit, as more of a fidget than anything.
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"That should be satisfactory. I'm ready to go home. What about you?" he asked rhetorically as he stood up and collected their papers. "Lemme drop these off with Art and we can get outta here."
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With a look at Malcolm's retreating shoulders, Raylan turned into Art's office.
"Papers for ya, boss," he offered, dropping them on Art's desk before turning towards the door.
"Hey," Art stopped him with a lift of his chin. "You know what you're doin' right?"
Raylan pinched his brow at him. "Yeah. 'Course."
There wasn't much room for discussion after that, because Raylan swept out to grab his jacket and swing it on, letting Malcolm led the way into the elevator.
Once they got in and got moving, Raylan hit the full stop button.
"You're not talkin'."
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"...You asked me to stop," he reminded the Marshal, no accusation or displeasure in his tone. It was a fact he was relating. "You said not here, so I assumed the embargo was on until we at least got outside," he explained.
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"If that's the only subject we can talk about, then I'd rather we not talk about it at all." He was supposed to be having a good evening here.
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"It's not. Of course it's not."
He paused, his eyes creeping just a little more towards looking at Raylan directly. "Are you tense because they all know now and you don't know what's going to happen because of it? That's understandable," Malcolm assured him.
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"I just want to not be here anymore," he said, eyes watching the elevator numbers tick down until it dinged and let them out. Raylan stepped out, pausing to wait for Malcolm to come into line with him before heading towards the exit and the car beyond.
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Raylan's last answer was a 'yes' disguised as a 'no' if he ever heard one.
He put his seatbelt on and flexed his hands and looked over at Raylan. "I'm sorry. If I hadn't come... out of sight, out of mind, right? I'll just... I'll stay out of sight."
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"You've got nothin' to apologize for and you don't have to stay outta sight. I don't know what you've got wrapped up in your head as bein' wrong this time, but it's not. You've shut down since the conference room, all because I don't want to hear about how good you think I am. What's that got to do with you stayin' outta sight."
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"You objected to the... Oh. I just... I know you're not a fan of all the... talking. Everyone keeps telling me. You told me. I thought you were on edge because of Art finding out and everyone kind of knowing and it becoming a sort of open secret and I thought it was just the general..."
But his brain was processing the rest of that and he stopped, his eyes widening slightly as he realized.
"Oh. Oh, I get it. Okay."
Raylan believed he wasn't good for a lot of reasons, but suggesting he was tilted his whole worldview, because on some level he believed he deserved the shit he took and the things that happened to him, like a sort of cosmic compensation for being bad.
Well if he didn't like hearing that he had virtues, he sure wouldn't like to talk about why he felt that way.
"Where's a good place to get fresh beans?" he asked. "They said in the recipe to make sure they're good and fresh."
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He wished he was that good at letting tension go.
"There's a farmer's market here that all the housewives seem to love," he replied, everything still a little tight as he put the car in gear and pulled out. "We can see where the closest butcher shop is from there."
Either way, they'd be hitting a liquor store on the way. Beer wasn't going to be enough for him tonight.
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He looked over, studying the tension in Raylan's frame and jaw for a moment.
"Can I ask you something?" he asked hesitantly.
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"Am I wrong?"
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"I also don't love any of those people. So you get a little more runnin' room."
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After a moment, he looked over. "Are you really all right?" he asked quietly. "Because you seem... not so much. And if I didn't upset you, then something did."
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Raylan pulled into the farmers market and cut the engine.
"Let's go raid their beans."
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