TLV: Inbox

[tinstar]

Comments

[tinstar]

[Raylan sighs softly to himself as he lifts his drink and takes a long pull, teeth bearing a little as he swallows it down.]

That's not a two way street I'm on often. An' no matter how I might feel about it, he's made his choices. Proved what's important to him and who ain't.

Really, I oughta be used to this by now.

[abrightboy]

No you shouldn’t. You should be meeting someone that sets different expectations for you. The kind you deserve.

[tinstar]

Except that ain't my life or my luck. And wishin' it was is only gonna make me more bitter and angrier. Sadder.

Better to accept my situation as it is. And it's what I've spent months tryin' to do. Tryin' to find a way to be okay with it. About it. Even here, with a million possibilities-- [He didn't mean to say that. It wasn't good for him to say that. Raylan bites down on it and his lip, shaking his head again.]

I'm alive. Willa's healthy, secure. Makes it to at least 15. It's the only thing I can ask for.

[abrightboy]

Willa’s more than that. She’s a lot like you, actually. Smart. Confident. On fire for justice.

[tinstar]

Her bein' healthy and secure doesn't preclude her from bein' more. That's assumed.

Good. I'm glad she is. For her own sake as much as everyone else's. Me bein' a Marshal, Winona bein' a court stenographer that was married to a Marshal for six years, we're all pretty invested in justice. Even if some of her justice is 15 year old justice.

[Even if he didn't understand why Future Raylan is so okay with this whole going to camp thing, but he had to trust himself.]

She's gonna be okay. There's not much I can protect her from anymore. I gotta trust in her ability to protect herself sometimes.

[abrightboy]

Protection isn’t the only thing people need their dads for.

[tinstar]

I know. I know it's not.[His voice is soft and a little tired around the edges and his head hangs as he stares into his whiskey glass.

He hadn't meant to imply that just like he hadn't meant to in anyway imply that Willa wasn't anything more than just healthy and secure, and it's feeling a little bit like he's being asked to cover every interpretive possibility.

He empties his glass down his throat.]

Anyway. Now you know about James. The only other person who does is Jedao. No one else needs to be added to that list.

[abrightboy]

[He wasn't trying to hem Raylan in semantically; he just thought he needed to know that James wasn't the only person he mattered to. That he's needed. That he matters.]

I won't tell your secrets. Just. Don't... resign yourself to being alone, okay? I did that and it was proven wrong when I least expected it. The right person will come along and you'll wish they were always there.

[tinstar]

Tough to do that when I know for a fact that for the next fifteen years, I am alone.

Hard to argue with the future.

But I'll be okay. There's no other choice.

[abrightboy]

That was only if you never came here. But you did.

[tinstar]

50/50 chance, Malcolm, that's a 50/50 chance at best.

[abrightboy]

Better than that, because of what a great person you are.

[tinstar]

You're kind.

Now, if you don't have any objection, I'm gonna go sit on James's beach and have a couple of drinks.

I'll talk to you later.

[abrightboy]

…Okay.


………Raylan? Did I offend you?

[tinstar]

No. But I don't know that I can physically stand hearin' how great I am and talkin' about him hurts my heart. You cared enough to ask; it deserved an answer.

[abrightboy]

Okay. Thank you. And sorry. If you need anything… even just company at any point, I already know now so I promise I won’t talk about it.

[tinstar]

I'll let you know, I promise. And no need to be sorry - it was gonna hurt either way.

It's alright.

[abrightboy]

[He nods.]

Okay. I love you. I’ll see you later.

[tinstar]

[That makes him smile crookedly and passingly. It was better than he expected to hear those words.]

Love you too, see ya soon.