[ Tim didn't react with any level of physicality as Raylan closed the distance and folded himself into the sniper's space. He allowed himself to be guided by strong hands, settled by his lover's low, throaty drawl so that by the time he turned into the older man, Tim exhaled a deep breath and laid his head against Raylan's chest. ]
I was telling myself that. [ He admitted, in a low voice. ] Spent a lot of quiet nights on Flotilla wrestling with what happened; particularly with the Entities. Thought I was out of that mire.
[ Taking another deep breath, Tim lifted his arms to wrap them around Raylan but was careful not to put his chicken smeared fingers on the older man. ]
It was how Pagan said what he said. Like until he told me about his so much greater negative experience, all the shit you and I know about what happens to men in Supermax, and SHU ... it didn't matter. Yeah, I get that he's an asshole and being a patronizing asshole is a default setting but it was like being kicked back down and everything I thought I had sorted reared back up and the ground I'd made became quicksand.
[Raylan's aura 'relaxed', the dark swirling blues and purples lightening like a breath let out as Tim uses his chest as a headrest. He didn't care about the chicken fingers or the salmonella that might be on it, relieved that he was being allowed to step in here, allowed to see Tim's struggle and frustration, allowed to give him space enough to get it out instead of bottling things up like they both tended to do when they were at home alone and in their own heads.
When Tim wraps around him, Raylan tightens the encirclement of the sniper and drops his lips to press into Tim's hair as he listens. It tugged painfully at all the soft parts of him that could do nothing to fix Tim's situation beyond be there.]
Yeah. Tough to keep shit level on top when its all shiftin' sands underneath. We really got thrown into the deep end here, didn't we.
[The thumb of his left hand starts brushing back and forth softly.]
No one's gonna fault you feelin' some kinda way. And if they do, then they're also assholes and their opinion doesn't matter.
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I was telling myself that. [ He admitted, in a low voice. ] Spent a lot of quiet nights on Flotilla wrestling with what happened; particularly with the Entities. Thought I was out of that mire.
[ Taking another deep breath, Tim lifted his arms to wrap them around Raylan but was careful not to put his chicken smeared fingers on the older man. ]
It was how Pagan said what he said. Like until he told me about his so much greater negative experience, all the shit you and I know about what happens to men in Supermax, and SHU ... it didn't matter. Yeah, I get that he's an asshole and being a patronizing asshole is a default setting but it was like being kicked back down and everything I thought I had sorted reared back up and the ground I'd made became quicksand.
Goddamn fucking rollercoaster.
no subject
When Tim wraps around him, Raylan tightens the encirclement of the sniper and drops his lips to press into Tim's hair as he listens. It tugged painfully at all the soft parts of him that could do nothing to fix Tim's situation beyond be there.]
Yeah. Tough to keep shit level on top when its all shiftin' sands underneath. We really got thrown into the deep end here, didn't we.
[The thumb of his left hand starts brushing back and forth softly.]
No one's gonna fault you feelin' some kinda way. And if they do, then they're also assholes and their opinion doesn't matter.