When Raylan moved back into the bed, Malcolm let out a visibly shaky breath, taking a couple more fortifying ones to stave off the edges of the panic attack he could feel creeping through him.
He nodded at Raylan’s question, then realized he was still halfway to sitting up and slid back down almost awkwardly.
“I. I was going to ask you to stay up here. All night. But it felt like it wasn’t fair to ask you that, when it’s dangerous. So I tried to make it... less pressuring. But. I reworded it badly. But.” He pressed his hand to his chest and tried another deep breath. “I didn’t... I don’t want you to leave. Please stay.”
He bit his lip, watching Raylan with undisguised longing, still trying to breath around the knot of panic in his core. He felt like he’d give anything in that moment to go back to being held so easily, like he had been a moment ago.
Too intense.
He was worried about ruining everything that came before that misunderstanding with.... all this. All his too big feelings. They’d put people off before. He was worried about ruining any chance that a night like this could happen again.
no subject
He nodded at Raylan’s question, then realized he was still halfway to sitting up and slid back down almost awkwardly.
“I. I was going to ask you to stay up here. All night. But it felt like it wasn’t fair to ask you that, when it’s dangerous. So I tried to make it... less pressuring. But. I reworded it badly. But.” He pressed his hand to his chest and tried another deep breath. “I didn’t... I don’t want you to leave. Please stay.”
He bit his lip, watching Raylan with undisguised longing, still trying to breath around the knot of panic in his core. He felt like he’d give anything in that moment to go back to being held so easily, like he had been a moment ago.
Too intense.
He was worried about ruining everything that came before that misunderstanding with.... all this. All his too big feelings. They’d put people off before. He was worried about ruining any chance that a night like this could happen again.